40 days

Wow, talk about neglecting a blog... well, if something had to be neglected around here, better this blog than one of the kids, am I right?? It's been 40 days since we got Joshua. 
Okay, yes, we've been busy.... why do I have time now you ask? It's August 8th... the 2nd day of school for the big kids. Just me and Sam around the house now. And although I should be mopping the dirty floors (which have also been neglected this summer), I'm out of commission at the moment... mommy down, mommy down!
Yep, of course, on the day I was looking forward to getting a bunch of stuff done, my back goes out and I can barley walk :::cue sad violin:::  It's frustrating, but at least it's making me sit down and write (although this is not that comfortable either... yes, please join me in my pity party.)

Okay, so updates, updates... people want to know how it's going... how's Joshua doing? How's Sam doing with Joshua? What about the other kids? How's life being a family of 7?  And I tell them it's going remarkably well (this is ACTUALLY true.) I'm not saying we haven't had some moments. Joshua waiting until about 5 days after being home before he started showing some "attitude"... pouting when he doesn't get what he wants, being stubborn about apologizing or listening to me, running to his room when I'm trying to talk to him (let me tell you how fun it is to try to discipline your child through iTranslate... um, not so much.) But, really, if he hadn't shown some of these typical childish behaviors, I would have started to think he was a robot. His behaviors are no more extreme than any other child, adopted or not. Most of the time he is very compliant and happy and goes with the flow. Sometimes he doesn't want to get buckled in his seat, sometimes he gives me an attitude when I tell him he can't play on the computer or iPad (he's definitely a techie, so we've limited that.) Again, the behaviors we've seen are pretty darn typical. He can be stubborn when he feels like things haven't gone his way... especially after pouting or whining for something and then I don't give in (Mama don't play that game.) But we've worked through these moments, it's hard when I know he can't understand all the words I'm saying to him. But each time, I tell him we still love him very much. We will always love him, even when he doesn't listen to us. I think that's something he's not heard much in his life. He's got a bit of a tough shell I'd say. He will accept affection, especially in a playful way, and he is more and more comfortable with parental affection. He loves for me to sing "You Are My Sunshine" to him each night before bed. He nods when I tell him I love him. He lets me give him lots of kisses. Slowly, I think he is feeling truly loved, unconditionally. 
One thing I mentioned to people is that his orphanage was a good one, relatively speaking. They really did a great job of preparing him for adoption and for life in general. He's got great self-care skills and always asks me for permission before doing something, which really surprised me, but I guess that makes sense. He is used to order and structure. 
There are many things I will remember from the orphanage visit, mostly all positive. But the one thing that hit me, was that there was no one there he was really sad to say goodbye to... there was no one really sad to say goodbye to him. It's like they all knew the drill, even the caregivers. They all seemed nice and caring, but there was not a particular nanny that showed any emotion because he was leaving. That is sad to me. A five year old boy, who had spent his whole life pretty much in that orphanage, and not one tear... from anyone. I can't imagine my other kids at the age of five leaving the only place they had ever known as home and not shedding one tear. Something is wrong with that. God made us for each other. Everyone should have a family, some kind of family.  
Well, he's fit right in our family. Sometimes I look at him and think about that video first saw of him, in his little yellow t-shirt. I think of how many times I watched that video and thought about this little boy a world away. And then I look over my shoulder and there he is... sitting next to me, his mama. And the magnitude of that overwhelms me. Adoption is a beautiful thing.

"Children born to another woman call me “Mom.” The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me." Jody Landers

Another thing that has surprised me is how much more deeply Sam feels like ours now that Joshua is home. It's difficult to explain and I don't want to sound like Sam didn't seem like ours before we got Joshua, because he really did, from day one. It's like now that we are just getting to know Joshua and he is transitioning into our family, suddenly Sam seems like one of the original gang now... if that makes sense. 

It's like the quote by Bob Constantine... "I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two."  That's what it feels like now... just gotta change that quote to "five children."

I feel like I know Sam so much more deeply now. Every little nuance of his personality is familiar to me. When you have a newborn, you stare at them constantly... okay, I did. Maybe you didn't. But as you watch that child grow from a tiny infant to a chubby baby, to a toddler, and so on... you have years to get to know this child of yours. When you adopt a toddler or an older child, especially, they come with personality already in place. And this personality is made up of genetic dispositions which you know nothing about it, and it's also been shaped by their life circumstances, which you have limited knowledge of. And as I think about all of this, it's obvious to me, I have some tough boys. Kids are so resilient... we've all heard this, and it's true. God must have known what he was doing when he made them that way. Doesn't mean that they don't need help and patience and kindness, but most of all, more than anything, they need love. Not belongings, not an orderly environment, not a caring soul... they NEED love. And while love does not make things "easy", it is the necessity that will allow all of the other details to fall into place. 

This kid cracks me up

Dynamics at our house?... The kids all get along like brothers and sisters should. Sam is the resident two year old so he makes sure to get in his "annoying little brother" time each day... which seems to fall on Joshua right now. Probably because they are the closest in age. Joshua really looks up to Daniel and Daniel loves that because Sam is too independent and assertive to follow Daniel, or anyone for that matter. Ella and Daniel have their same love/hate relationship going on... their distinct personalities are both of the sensitive type. Shannon is her calm, easy-going self and has just started middle school, and her positive attitude continues to serve her well.  As for Joshua, he gets along with everyone most of the time, probably better with the older kids than his two year old brother, but that's typical. He and Sam play some, but not too much. They do like riding the Gator outside, but that can become a competition. We have our moments of harmony and discontent, as any family.

Been waiting for this line-up. 

I love this...

As for Joshua's medical stuff... He's already had his first blood transfusion here. It went swimmingly. He's a star patient, no doubt. He will go again for a check of his blood work this week to check his Hgb and his liver enzymes since he has just started a new medication which we hope will reduce the iron levels in his body. When you have many blood transfusions, iron builds up in your body, in your organs, so he is on an iron chelation medication that should rid his body of some of this excess iron. Besides the chronic anemia, iron overload is a major problem for kids with Thalassemia in Ch*na. He will continued to be monitored monthly and will have another transfusion in a couple of weeks, I believe. Other than taking his medication each day, his Thalassemia is really a nonissue on a daily basis. 




And while I was thinking that we would hold off on Kindergarten for him, we changed our minds! Once we saw how well he was doing and how much he could already do, we felt he would do well in the classroom and would enjoy it. And the language barrier is still our biggest issue, so the more exposure he can have, the better. He will be getting ESOL services at school and I think he will need speech services in the near future. He was so excited to get on the bus and his big bro watched over him. 

While it felt a little strange putting my son who speaks little no English and understands a limited amount on a public school bus crowded with other kids he doesn't know that will be taking him a building he's been inside once before to be in a teacher's class he spent 20 minutes in the day before, I just trusted my gut and trusted that God would watch over him.... big smile, lot of excitement, briefing to the bus driver that he doesn't understand you (especially with the heave southern accent), wave bye-bye, and he was off to his first day of Kindergarten. 

I'm glad to report that he came home happy and was willing to get back on the bus again this morning with no problem! This kid amazes me.

What he drew on the first day of Kindergarten...
no I'm not sure what/who it is:)

Okay, I'm about tapped out for now... I'm sure I had other thoughts I wanted to get down, but I can't recall them at the moment. I'll try my best not to procrastinate next time... no, never mind,  I can't make any promises.

Oh!... one other thing... I feel "DONE"!! Yes, I feel like our family is complete. It's a great feeling:) We're all where we're supposed to be. Thank you, God, for all our blessings. Amen.