It is honest to say we were more nervous about this adoption, really simply because of his age... Much different, even from Joshua's adoption when he was 5. When you start throwing out questions about older child adoption to the adoption boards, you get a plethora of responses and advice and stories. Some are wonderful, others are not. Of course toddler adoption can easily have it's own challenges and difficulties, it's just more likely you will be able to work threw them and the child will, in most cases, be able to bond well with your family. In reality, a lot of it depends on the child and their God-given personality traits and how they are able to internally cope and process the many transitions and experiences of his/her life. This is true for both toddler adoptions and older child adoptions. But with older child adoptions, there has been more life-experience and character development. They are they're own person and have already been shaped and influenced, for better or for worse, by their life up to the point of adoption day. You really have to go into it being prepared for the worst-case scenario but also holding out hope for something really awesome.
In our case, we were able to video chat with Andrew several times before we met. That was immensely helpful not only for us, but for him. I couldn't imagine being 10 years old and leaving all I've ever known and being placed with strangers I've never interacted with. But it happens often in adoptions. We were fortunate to have had the opportunity to chat even though we never talked too much because of the language barrier, we learned little things about him and he was able to get a glimpse into our family as well.
After months of paperwork and bugging government officials for approvals and emails, I find myself waiting until the night before to pack for a 2 week trip across the world to bring home a child into my already existing and bonded family. It is surreal. And then I have plenty of time to think on the 15 hour plane ride and things start seeming more real... we are REALLY doing this, this boy is coming home with US... and we even don't know him, not really. The "what ifs" often come at the beginning of the adoption process when you are trying to decide if you will take the leap and then they come back towards the time of travel when the bags are packed and you're leaving for a land far, far away.
I found myself getting little butterflies in my stomach each time I thought about "forever-family day" or gotcha day. Even as we toured Beijing, I would constantly have Monday morning in the back of my mind. This moment in time I knew was coming, surrounding me like an impatient child with nervous anticipation and anxious excitement.
What would it be like?
How would I feel about him when I saw him?
How would he react to us?
Would the feelings be there or would it take a little longer to get those feelings for him?
Would he be comfortable with us?
Would we feel comfortable with him?
So what was that day like?... It was beautiful. It was a beautiful day. I woke up early and caught the sunrise. And since the G20 Summit was in China that week, they shut down some factories so there was actually blue sky in Zhengzhou, which is amazing in itself and then this sunrise...
Our group met and took a bus to the government building, but a different one than where we got Sam.
Then a short time later, the second little girl (2 yrs old) arrived and she was not too thrilled to be there and be given to strangers. There were some tears and screams for a while until she decided she was a daddy's girl and calmed down some.
Still we waited for Andrew. There was a small playground in the room for the kids and a lot of running around and playing with the siblings who came along. Daniel anxiously waited near the door where he could see down the hall for Andrew to come. We waited and waited... over an hour from when we first arrived. His city is the most southern in the province and is about an hour and a half by bullet train.
I was feeling good and so excited that Andrew Day had arrived but as time dragged on the nerves were raging. We had already given our cameras to the other parents in the group who weren't currently holding a small child and we were ready.
And then Daniel's voice piped up with joyful excitement, "There he is! I see Andrew! Andrew's here!"
We saw him from a distance down the hall as he was walking with two ladies from his orphanage. He saw us and a smile came across his face. And as I looked at him and we walked towards each other down that hall and met with a hug, I had my questions answered.
He was my son.
I felt a connection to him that was deep... deeper than I thought it would be. This boy... this joyful, open boy, brave boy is my son. And now we are together forever... it was something beautiful.
Things I've noticed about Andrew:
He has an awesome smile that is truly full of joy and lights up a room. He can throw this smile at you in a heartbeat. It is not fake. It is totally sincere.
He sometimes quietly sings a song to himself:)
He lives on fried rice and fried Chinese noodles. There are his staples, lol. But he was also eat fruits and veggies and chicken legs and sausage on a stick. Definitely need to get some protein in this boy's diet!
He's not really into watching TV but likes Mr. Bean and the Chinese version of Power Rangers, which he calls armored warriors but translates as "giant savers" (??) And it's all in Chinese (often with Chinese subtitles (go figure) and he knows we can't understand it but he loves for us to watch it with him so he tries to explain it to us using thumbs up or down or he'll get the translator app and keep us up to speed on the plot line and characters. It's so sweet and I'm glad we found something he likes to share with us.
He LOVES remote control cars and other vehicles and he's really good at driving them.
He loves playing games... UNO and foosball have been what we've tried so far and he gets into the games but is also okay if he loses. He smiles A LOT and jokes around.
He is very smart and speaks fluent Chinese and can read Chinese characters. He can also mimic us in English if he wants to.
He has not gotten upset much, but when he does, he gets angry and stubborn and uses a harsh tone. He may also throw a little tantrum of stomping his foot and flaying his shoulders about. It's not bad but somewhat immature for his age (which is to be expected.) I know he's got to be exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically.
These little outbursts have come at times when he was tired of walking or tired of waiting or didn't get a certain app put on my phone (that's whole 'nuther can of worms, lol.)
He is outgoing and social, an extrovert I believe. Which makes it even more difficult for him not to be able to easily communicate with us. He has chit-chatted with the waitresses at the lounge and a taxi driver as well as asking the gate attendant in Zhengzhou if the flight was going to Guangzhou, even though I had communicated that to him several times already that day as well as our guided telling him, lol...guess he just wanted to be sure.
He's affectionate and will playfully and lovingly lean his head towards Fred or I when we hug him or put our arm around him.
He sweetly smiles at me when I sing him "You Are My Sunshine" as I tuck him in. He seems to truly enjoy it <3
He feels like our son through and through.
So tomorrow morning is his medical exam. The only thing that makes me nervous is the blood draw for the TB test. All kids over 2 have to get this done. With his hemophilia, this could be a little tricky, but my plan is to bring Coban wrap and gauze and apply pressure for 10-15 minutes without stopping. And I'll think we'll be fine.
Wednesday is the big day: US Consulate appointment so he can get his visa to go to America and become a citizen as soon as we touch down on US soil. We leave Friday morning for HOME!
