Be brave, my heart. Have courage, my soul

"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for." 

William G.T. Shedd

"Normality is a paved road: It is comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it." 

Vincent van Gogh

As we began the adoption process for our third time, we have been overjoyed and humbled at the outpouring of love and support we have received. Even if people don't quite understand "WHY??", they still encourage us and ask about the process and WHEN we are going to get our new son.

The answer to that is: after we make it through this process... again. 

What?... can't follow that??  Yeah, it's a true paperchase. And, yes, even though we have done this exact same thing twice before, we still have to go through the exact same process again. 

Basically it's this: 

• Collect all official documents needed for your dossier and home study: birth certificates, marriage license, health forms, physical exam forms (always fun to get the doctor to fill it out correctly and legibly so nothing gets rejected), proof the septic tank works, proof the dog had her rabies shot, letters from employers, financial statements, etc  Some documents are just for the home study and are specific by state. Some documents are SUPER important and have to go to China in our dossier.
  
• Social worker visits and writes up home study (wait for that to happen)
  
• Agency reviews home study and finalizes it (wait for that to happen)
  
• Home study and fees get sent to USCIS for initial approval from US govt to adopt a child from China (have to get fingerprints done again at Dept of Homeland Security... that one kills me, my fingerprints haven't changed, but okay.)  (wait for fingerprint appt letter to come)
  
• While waiting on the govt to stamp that approval, I get all the other dossier documents notarized, county certified, state sealed and then sent to a courier in Houston who has to walk them into the Chinese Consulate (because you can't mail anything) to get them authenticated by the consulate. Then they all come back to me and I give them to our agency.
  
• When I finally get the USCIS approval, I will do the same steps for that piece of paper and then give to agency for dossier (final piece!)
  
• Agency will review all dossier documents again and then translate them and send them to China. (wait for that to happen)
  
• THEN we will be DTC (Dossier to China)
  
• THEN we wait on our LID (Log in Date)
  
• THEN we wait on our LOA (Letter of Acceptance.... this is hard wait. For Sam it took ALL summer 78 days, for Joshua, who had a medical expedite, it took 7 days... we are hoping for an expedite for Andrew since he has hemophilia (most likely severe), but we won't know if it will happen until it does) Getting LOA is a VERY exciting step... then things start to fly.
  
• THEN the steps get a little fuzzy to me, lol... {see chart}   We have to get another approval from USCIS to adopt Andrew SPECIFICALLY, then the US Consulate in China does some stuff and something called an article 5 is picked up and dropped off and then the CCCWA (China's govt branch in charge of all adoptions) issues TA (TRAVEL APPROVAL!!!)
  
• THEN the agency requests a consulate date which will determine the day we will get Andrew.
  
• THEN we get to book airline tickets and hotels... which sounds fun, but is not really that fun when you are about 2 weeks out from international travel, lol.  Luckily I'm married to a travel GENIUS who has been working like a madman to collect points for airline tickets and hotel stays. We know which hotels we will stay in during our two week trip to China. Freddie is awesome:)
  
• And THEN.... it's GO-TIME! Fred, and I and Daniel will be going on the trip to bring Andrew Jun home.

It may seem somewhat daunting, but really it's not. It's just a series of steps and approvals and gathering paperwork and making sure you don't fill out a form wrong. It's pretty cut and dry and predictable (for the most part, although you never know what hiccups may occur in the process, but they are usually resolved.)

And while the waiting is hard and the process is cold and deliberate, the end result is beautiful. Adoption is beautiful. In so many ways. It's closest thing we have on earth to God's adoption of us as His children. He is a good, good father. Always. We do not view adoption as "playing God" or "trying to be a savior"... we know it is a blessing, an honor, a calling that we, as Christians, should consider. To me, it's pretty clear that Jesus came to teach us to LOVE one another... to do for one another as God has loved us. That can take the form a lot of different things in this world. One of those is adoption, and while it may not be for every family, I encourage you to consider it, and look at the reasons you come up with for why not and pray about them. And if adoption is not something you feel is meant for your family, I'm sure there is another story God will write for you that will be more than you can imagine. 

I like the Pope Francis quote: "Ask Jesus what He wants from you and Be Brave."

I don't know exactly how this will all work out. Adopting a 10 year old boy who speaks no english and has never known what 'family' means is, by definition, unpredictable, lol. I'm going into it with NO expectations. 

No expectations of how Andrew will react to us and his siblings

No expectations of how the adoption trip will go

No expectations of if he will let us hug him or show him affection or if he will even like us, lol

No expectations of if he will want us to call him by his Chinese name or his American name

No expectations of how quickly (or not) he will learn english

No expectations of how the other kids will react to him or how the adoption will change the family dynamics

No expectations about how he will handle the fact that his world will be turned upside down and inside out as he takes in a new culture, a new language, a new living environment with new, strange-looking people... and an overly-friendly labrador:)

I will take it all in as it happens and try to trust my gut and parenting instincts and lean on God for strength and guidance. 

This is our life. This our family. Andrew is a part of it, he just doesn't know it yet. And it's our job, as parents, to help him transition into it and show him an unconditional love that he may never have known before. The rest are details that we will work out.

The kids are excited and we pray together for Andrew to be safe in China and happy until we can bring him home. And I pray that he knows love and feels loved... but honestly, I can't know if that is the case or not. As I've said before about Joshua's life in China, there is a difference between being cared for and being loved.  

Needless to say, we hope the process goes as quickly as possible. Our home study has been written and is being reviewed. We hope send out our application for our first USCIS approval. We won't send our dossier to China until the summer (all depends how quickly we get this first approval.)  We still hope to travel in the Fall (early,  middle, or late depending on if US and China expedite). If we don't get approved for expedites at all, it could be the winter when we travel.

I'm in the process of making a book for him with our pictures and pictures of our house, inside our house, his room, our backyard, our school, etc. I don't want to overwhelm him, but I hope that seeing some visuals of how his new home will look will be comforting to him. I also included a map of the world and China with his province highlighted and USA with GA highlighted.

Interestingly, his city and our city are very close in latitude to each other (34 degrees north for Cumming and 32 degrees north for Xinyang), so the climate will probably be something he is used to... just hopefully cleaner air:)

We hope that we will be able to video chat with him after we get LOA. I have a friend who has a friend that speaks Chinese, so she could interpret for us. 

We are also excited to have designed a t-shirt for Andrew's adoption! I worked with an organization called Fund the Nations, whom I met at the adoption retreat I went to, and the girls helped me with some details of it as well. I really liked how it turned out and I hope others do as well! I will make another post soon about the shirts that will help bring Andrew home.

Here's a hint as to the shirt saying: 

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.  Do everything in love."  1 Corinthians 16:13-14

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

One thing I remember that stood out to me when I first read what was written about Andrew by his orphanage is that despite the pain his hemophilia has caused in his life, he is still "open" and "loves life."  That sounds like a brave boy to me. I wish he didn't have to wait so long. I wish he hadn't endured pain that could have been prevented. But all we can do now is work as quickly as possible to get him home and be "open" to all he is and all he can be... and to help him see that he is so worthy and so loved by us and by God, our good, good Father.