Gotcha Day and Hanging in Henan...

October 14, 2013 will always be a day to remember in our family. Sam will have two special days, his birthday (November 17) and his forever family day or “gotcha day.” I wasn’t sure how gotcha day was going to go. Of course he would be scared and confused and we would be overjoyed to have him... kinda conflicting emotions. I don’t think it could have gone any better. I think it’s a combination of his easy-going personality and the way the foster home prepared him to come into our family... our prayers have been answered and Sam is doing amazingly well.

On Monday morning the seven families from our agency piled on a bus and went to the government building where we would receive our children. There were other families from other agencies there that morning as well. The room was pretty open with some couches and a little play area. When we arrived it was already very busy with families who already had their children and then several children from our group were there as well. Fred and I saw Sam as soon as we got off the bus and started walking to the building. He was wearing a red shirt and standing in front of the large glass doors. The other boy who was with him at the group foster home was walking around with him.

We just walked in and let our agency guide officially introduce us to him and we dropped everything and proceeded to smile from ear to ear and try to comprehend what was happening. He kinda looked at us like, “Yeah, I’ve seen pictures of you two, you’re what they call ‘mama’ and ‘baba.’ Hey, those crackers look yummy.” Yes, we bribed him with food and after taking a look at his cheeks and belly, we have determined that food is the way to his heart:)

His foster brother was doing well at first, but then melted down. He was very upset because he was well aware what was happening. He is truly an “old soul” and very bright and perceptive. Sam was just kinda walking around the joint, checking out the play place. He would go back over to his nanny who brought him, and check in with her. At one point, his shoe fell off and he wouldn’t let me put it on, but her to. Things were chaotic. Some kids were quiet, some were screaming, there was paperwork being signed, official pictures being taken... it was an overwhelming scene. Sam seemed to like Fred to hold him more at the time. I was just happy he wanted one of us to hold him. His nanny and I exchanged some emotional eye contact and I thanked her for loving him. I knew she was sad to see him leave, but also happy that he would have a family. I could see in her face how much she loved him and how much it hurt. She left quietly without him noticing, but by the time he noticed he didn’t cry or become upset. Fred sat down on the couch with him and he was tired and sucking his thumb. They looked like they were watching a football game on Sunday.

He fell asleep in Fred’s arms and slept the whole way back and we put him in the crib and he slept for another 2-3 hours. (He’s definitely a Dri, he likes to eat and sleep! LOVE IT!!) I thought he might be upset when he woke up in a strange hotel room, but no. We needed his hand print on an official document so we had to wake him up, change his diaper, and whisk him down the hall. He saw his good buddy, now called Elias, and they played for a bit. :::This is too easy. It’s going too smoothly:::: I feel like we’re waiting for the bottom to fall out. With each passing moment we feel closer and more bonded with him. He is really coming out of his shell around us and is thriving with this one on one attention (he has been sharing his nanny with his foster brother.) He’s easy-going, silly, likes cartoons, enjoys sweet carb puffs, likes to be sung to and likes to sing, and knows how to have a ton of fun with a beach ball. He already seems to know that we are his daddy and mommy and he’s comfortable with both of us. 

This blog is taking me a while to finish, so now we’ve made it through Wednesday. We left this morning for a 2.5 hour ride in a van to his hometown, Anyang. All families have to travel there with their child to get his passport photo taken and apply for his passport. The passport will be ready by Friday. It was a long ride and a long day, and he seemed to come down with a fever and some diarrhea on the way there. Seems like he’s got a little virus, poor buddy. But he did sleep most of the long trip, so that was good. After we finished the paperwork at the govt. Office, we went to visit the orphanage where his story began. He was not there for too long, only 4 months, but I wanted to see it and I had to check on some babies for their waiting mommas:) Fred had already decided he didn’t want to go inside, so he and Sam hung out around the van while I went in. It was what you would think an orphanage would be I guess. Not as bad as some, but not as good as it should be. I hope many of those little ones will be adopted soon. That’s all I’m going to say about that. And after leaving there I realized even more profoundly how blessed we are that he was at his foster home. 

While in Anyang we saw several weddings taking place and Fred commented to our guide that it was unusual to get married on a Wednesday. She said they don't pick a day of the week, but a date. Apparently the 16th is very popular. Anything with 6 and 9 is good luck I think. I snapped a picture of some fireworks going off. They really go all out for the weddings!

 

When we got back and he had a couple of blow outs in his diaper and was feeling pretty crummy with his fever. Luckily our awesome friends and travel companions hooked us up with some children’s Tylenol. And now he is feeling much better.

This is from the day after gotcha day, when everything was finalized. These two will be buds forever... once a brother, always a brother. 

Bet you never saw this in YOUR Walmart...

On the way to Anyang....

Lunch at a local noodle place in Anyang... It was less than $6 for three huge dishes of noodles and soup. 

On the way back from Anyang...

There are so many sights and experiences that we’ve witnessed while in China, and I hope to blog about some more later... time for bath here:)

The last night

We arrived by bullet train in Zhengzhou today. We had a little bit of confusion picking up our tickets that I had purchased online, but once we figured that out, it was smooth sailing and the train ride was awesome! 

Zhengzhou is a much bigger and busier city than we anticipated!! The traffic is crazy and there are 9 million people living here. You have to be careful on the sidewalks because mopeds speed around all over... One misstep could hurt!

We are at the Crowne Plaza here. Fancy lobby..,

We met our two guides with our agency, met up with the other people in our group, went to the bank with the guides to exchange money and then took a trip to the local walmart to get some goodies.  It wasn't your run of the mill Walmart;). 

The hotel put a crib in our room. Wow, this is our last night without him. We will get him tomorrow morning (Sunday night for you)!!  He will be ours!! So excited!! Hope I can get some sleep tonight somehow. 

I will say a prayer that his transition goes as smoothly as possible as he leaves the only caregivers he's known. It will be confusing and scary for him, but we hope he likes having a mama and baba... I have a feeling he will:) (well, I hope at least he'll like one of us;)) It's all come down to this.

We love him so!

"Can I bring this baby, too?"

On Friday, October 11, we hired a driver to take us to a couple of places. Little Flower medical foster home and The Great Wall. Although the wall is one of the 7 wonders of the world and one of those "must see" attractions in China, the highlight of my day was our first stop. 

To protect the privacy of the children there, we did not take pictures inside. It is located inside a nice house in the Beijing area. We were shown around by a nice young man who works there. I remember seeing his pictures on their Facebook page. He spoke excellent English. He showed us all the different rooms with the preemies to infants to babies to toddlers. All with some kind of medical need. Often a need that requires surgery our constant monitoring. There must have been about 20-30 children there. They do amazing work and those children are very loved.  We saw the room where Sam stayed when he came there. He arrived in their care when he was about 4 months old. He was very sick and frail, mostly due to his heart defect. The intake pictures are heartbreaking and  the images shocked us when we first saw them. I knew from the moment we saw the pictures that the people at Little Flower had saved his life. I assumed that the orphanage where he was at the time was concerned about him and that's why they called LF to come for him. I assumed we would go there to thank them for all they had done for him... But we didn't even realize the depth of gratitude that we owe to them. Especially to a very special lady named "Lily". 

 She was holding a baby when our guide told her who we were. She smiled and carefully laid the baby down and came to talk to us. She told us that the then director at his orphanage was good about accepting help from outside sources, like foster homes. She said that she had a list of 9 babies that she was going to evaluate on that trip, one who had a serious heart defect. Sam was not on that list. She said that she while she was there evaluating the needs of the babies the orphanage had called about, she saw YiFei (our Sam). She said he was so tiny and his right ear was very swollen and red because he had lay on that side with it folded up for so long in the same position that it had become infected. She had her oxygen detector with her because of the other baby with the heart defect. She took Sams level and it was very low. She knew he needed to go to LF. So she asked if she could "bring this baby, too."  And she did. He wasn't on the list. The orphanage must not have even been too concerned about his needs. Lily picked him out. She saved him.  I was so overcome with gratitude and a whirlwind of emotions when she told me this. She was crying, I was crying... It was a moment I'll never forget. Later (after we gathered ourselves together), we took a picture with her (which is on our camera card still, I'll try to upload later). She got a little emotional again and a volunteer asked if she was okay, and she said, "YiFei is special." I couldn't agree more. 

After that we went to the Great Wall. It was pretty cool, but not the highlight of my day:)

Strangers in a strange land...

I'm going to be doing a lot of blogging using my phone, so bare with me on the typos:). 

So we travelled for almost 24 hours with all the layovers and such. The flights went smoothly although it was very hard to sleep on that long flight, which is okay because when we landed in Beijing it was nearly midnight and we needed to go to sleep anyway. The flight was very crowded and they actually delayed our take-off because the plane was "over gross". I had never heard the term before... Not really something you want to here before you head out on a 9000 mile flight;). So they needed 6 people to get off the plane (I have no idea where they came up with 6, but apparently there's a whole career field dedicated to figuring this stuff out). Anyhoo... Those 6 people got $1600 for their trouble, not too bad. There was an elderly Chinese lady sitting next to Fred in the flight. She and her husband had been visiting their daughter in Washington state. Fred actually switched seats with her to give her the aisle so she could sit near her husband. She was appreciative and offered us some grapes she had in a produce bag (they were washed she said). Normally i wouldn't eat produce from a stranger but we both felt like she would be insulted if we didn't have some grapes. Didn't want to start the trip off by insulting an old Chinese lady, so...They were actually very fresh and washed:) She spoke very limited English (but compared to our ability to speak Chinese, her language skills were advanced!) She tried to give us some advice, much of it was lost in translation... Basically, don't buy clothes or shoes in Beijing becuz it's very expensive, T'men square is very big and dangerous becuz of terrorists(?), we should keep our money under our clothes and Fred should carry it, we will need jackets in morning and evening, and Chinese women would swoon over Fred becuz he is tall and has blue eyes... Okay, she didn't tell us that last part;). She was very sweet 

 We breezed through immigration and customs with no problems, got some Chinese currency from the ATM, avoided the non-official taxi guys, and stepped outside into another world. Either it was a foggy night or a smoggy night... Probably the latter since we could feel it in our eyes and throat. The taxi had seat belts, but no way to latch them because of the seat cover. Hey, it's the thought that counts, right? The cabbie got near the hotel area but was having trouble finding the hotel. We had theChinese address printed out from an email yen hotel sent us. Fred tried to tell him "CROWNE PLAZA" very slowly and clearly, um, well, that didn't help at all. He phoned a friend (on his latest generation samsung smart phone) and we found it. Fred have him a tip when he paid (apparently they aren't used to that here becasue his attitude was much nicer and he helped us get our luggage out when before we were stuffig it in ourselves). He even tried to give us an extra piece of luggage that apparently some poor soul had left in the trunk. We used charades to inform him it wasn't ours and he seemed surprised. Our room smelled of smoke but it was 2am and we had to go to sleep. I was thinking the whole city must smell like this because when I turned on the air, it was 10x worse! We asked to switch rooms and moved across the hall and it was not smokey (yay!). The smog was much better the next morning because it was very windy. We went to the summer palace on Thursday. Here are some pictures. 

Throughout the day I was thinking "this is his country, his heritage, his culture" I am glad we are able to experience this on our journey. I was also thinking "oh my gosh, we are so close to him!"  

The anticipation is building with each day!

 Friday we go visit Little Flower medical foster home and then go to the Great Wall!

'Twas the night before takeoff...

Wow, I can't believe the time has come. All the preparation, all the paperwork, all the approvals, all the waiting, all the anticipation... And now here we are. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!! It's amazing and pretty much unbelievable. Tomorrow morning after we get the kids off the bus, my parents are driving us down to the airport. Our flight takes off midday. We head to Seattle for a layover and then on to Beijing. We will arrive there at 11:20pm china time on Wednesday! 

The kids are so excited!! We will miss them and they will miss us, but they will have fun with the grandparents and they all agree this trip has a wonderful outcome:)    Bags are packed with our stuff, Sam's stuff and donations. We are as ready as we are gonna be... Here we come, Sam!

Ready or not... here we come!!

Before I forget, before life get a little too busy for blogging... I need to write this down.

Obviously, I've been neglecting the blog... big time. (Also, this is another thing of “my list” :::checks off 'update blog':::

So, here we go..

“I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.” – Ecclesiastes 9:11

Sometimes people don't like to think so much is left to chance in this life. I'm one of them. If it is meant to be, it will happen, God has a plan, etc. But I think the question is “What did you do with the chances you were given?” We are not special people. We are blessed and thankful. Sam is special. We just had to take a chance to find him.

I've never shared how we began this journey. I'm sure many have wondered (as would I) why and/or how we came to the decision to adopt. We have three healthy, happy kiddos who are all out of diapers and can make their own breakfasts; we get to sleep in and no one wakes up in the middle of the night, and, you know, life is good! So, why rock the boat, why make such a dramatic change in our lives?? Well, we weren't done apparently:) I had felt this desire in my heart for a fourth child for years. But, for various reasons, having another baby wasn't in the cards for us. Fred had talked about adoption on and off for years. He told me years ago that he felt that was something he was called to do, a journey he wanted to take and felt like God had put this desire in his heart. I never felt that pull to adoption when he mentioned it to me. Didn't think I had it in me. It was way out of my comfort zone.

*courtesy of Sarah Kostusiak 

Then one Sunday in November of 2012, November 11^th, actually (six days before Sam's first birthday), we listened to a sermon at church that sparked a conversation. And that day we slept in, didn't make it church. The kids had spent the night at the grandparents' house. We slept in and decided to watch online. Glad we did. God was giving us this opportunity to talk about something. This sermon didn't encourage adoption. At no point did we hear “Go and adopt a child.” But he was speaking about we should go out in our communities, in our world and be rich in good deeds. Make a difference. I don't really know why or when, but as I was listening to this sermon, I got this overwhelming feeling that we should adopt. I knew I wanted to do this. I felt we should do this, not only to add another blessing to our family, but to give a child a family who needs one. It was so clear to me. And after we finished listening, Fred brought up the topic of adoption. And I was all in. I told him that I felt it in my heart, and I knew we should start looking into the options.

And so we did. For various reasons, we were leaning towards adopting from China. Things fell into place, such as being able to meet with a group of people who had just returned from their adoption trip to China. We talked with as many people as we could. We researched and got advice, and on Christmas Eve, we had made our final decision: let's do this!

After we started the process, we had a lot of help from a friend of a friend who knew all the ins and outs of the mounds of paperwork required. Thanks, Donna! We moved quickly were just about finished with our home study when we received a call from our agency that Monday night in early February. Then you look at that picture for the first time, and all that tedious paperwork gets REAL. There is a REAL little boy on the other side of the world without a family and your agency wants to know if YOU would adopt him?!?! Yeah, it's a moment we'll never forget. Of course, we feel in love with his sweet face. Then it was time to research his heart condition. We called my SIL, Ellen, and got the best pediatric cardiologist group in Atlanta. I pull up the website to get the phone number and the first name that I see is a friend of mine from high school!! Who knew Wes became a pediatric cardiologist?? Well, I took it as a comforting sign. And after he graciously reviewed Sam's file for us and explained the medical mumbo-jumbo, we felt like we could definitely handle this need.

*Side note: Some people may think, wow, what a lucky little boy... to be adopted into an American family. But, no. I can see how they might think that, but he's not been lucky. He was most likely not the first born in his family. Had he been healthy, he would most likely be living with his family now. But his heart had some major issues, and we don't know exactly why he was given up or how they knew he heart problems. Maybe he got sick, maybe they even had a doctor diagnose his heart problems to some extent. In his country, if you don't have the means to pay, you are not treated. His parents made a very selfless decision. I cannot imagine their pain. We know he was a wanted child, because he was born. If they had not wanted to have a child, he would have never been born. So, I think about his birth mother and father and that decision they had to make. They knew they could not provide the medical care he needed. They knew if they left him in a public place, he would be taken to an orphanage and cared for. They knew they would not see him again. He was about three weeks old. I hope for change in that country, and more options for parents with children born with medical needs. And, yes, he was able to have surgery while at a US-based medical foster home. And he was transferred to another loving foster home run by Chinese Christians. So, things have been about as good as possible for Sam. But one thing is missing: family. He doesn't know what it's like to live in a family, to have a Mom and Dad. Every child should have that. So while I am sad about the rough start to his life, I am happy we can welcome him into our family and call him our son, brother, grandson, nephew, and great-grandson.

Fast-forward: paperwork, paperwork, waiting, approval, waiting, paperwork, logged in, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting.... DAY 78 we received our Letter of Acceptance on August 2!! We were logged in May 15 and waited the whole summer, but it finally came. I'm not gonna lie, I was going a little bonkers towards the end of that wait:) And on that particular day, I was checking every email notification like an obsessed fool (like I had been doing for months). Then, as I was pulling out of the Publix shopping center, I thought, “Ya know, it's probably not going to come today. Maybe Monday, but I'm just not going to even expect it today. Just forget it about it for today.” I let it go.

Proverbs 3:5-6

As soon as I got to the light and stopped, I got another email. Since I was stopped, I glanced down... I couldn't believe it. It was from Sarah at our agency... our LOA had arrived!! And then I proceeded to nearly hyperventilate. I had to pull into a nearby elementary school parking lot. I had to share my excitement with everyone since I was in the car alone when I screamed.

And now here we are about to leave in less than a week. And to top it off, to put the icing on the cake and the sprinkles on the donut, my good friend (whom I connected with on Facebook) received her Travel Approval on the same day, and we will get travel in country together!!!!! Amazing!! Our boys are very close in age:)

"Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." James 4:14

Take risks, don't avoid blessings because of the concerns that come with them.

I want to end this blog post with a message of thanks. We are so very excited that God has blessed us with Sam. I want everyone to know that every word of support and encouragement is taken to heart. Every nice Facebook comment, every email, every smile, every “congratulations.” It means a lot. We feel the love, people:)

Thank you to Julie K. for inviting us over and giving us advice, 

thank you to Michelle for the helpful advice and support, 

thank you to Donna for ALL the information and instructions that sped up our process immensely, 

thank you to Wes for taking time out of your busy day to review his file, 

thank you to Tom at PakMail for not charging for notarizing adoption-related papers, 
thank you to Vickie for working for me while I'm away, 

thank you to Tracie for helping me through the wait,making me laugh and teaching me how to pack, 

thank you the Courtneys for lending us the crib and car seats, 

thank you to my hairdresser, Jennifer, for lending us your stroller, 

thank you to the Dooleys for the use of the high chair, 

thank you my small group ladies for all the prayers and kind words, 

thank you our wonderful neighbors, the Browns, for hosting a shower for Sam, 

thank you all our neighbors for your generosity, 

thank you to Suzie for the use of your luggage scale, 

thank you all the ladies at St. B's for the support and encouragement and excitement, thank you to Julie Q. for all the prayers, 

thank you to my mom and dad for their very generous Skymile donation, 

thank you to Fred's mom and dad for the Marriott points, 

thank you to all our family and friends who have prayed for us and let us know how much they support us and are willing to help in whatever way they can!

THANK YOU!!!

  
WE LEAVE ON OCTOBER 8th!!!! 
HERE WE COME, SAM!!

Obsessively Waiting...

"Patience is the companion of wisdom." ~St. Augustine

Uh-oh... 

Okay but I don't think Augustine ever went through an international adoption process, just sayin'

Well, here we are almost through the month of June. Summer is starting to fly by and what used to seem like a lifetime as a kid, keeps getting shorter as I age. And although I don't like the summer to pass so quickly, this year I'm grateful for the swift passing of time. Each day that goes by is another day closer to bringing him home. So, while I try to live each day to the fullest and enjoy the kids and be productive, I'm constantly thinking of "when?" WHEN is the approval coming? WHEN will we be getting on a plane? And WHY can't it happen sooner? I know that we are breezing through the process, so to speak. Many people wait longer for a match or have other hiccups with paperwork that hold them up, so I'm thankful that ours has gone smoothly (up to now), but it's not moving fast enough for me! 

We LOVE the summer schedule here at the Dri House. Staying up late, watchin' movies, sleeping in, catching fireflies, playing outside, and going to the pool constantly. Life is good, life is very good. We are just missing someone.

This little guy... our son, our little bro. He needs to be here, too. 

We had our annual beach trip to HHI the first week of June. It was a great week and I know we are blessed to be able to have such wonderful vacations as a family. We also made a Salty Dog Cafe shirt for Sam! He is now officially a Dri:)

So, what's been going on with the adoption you ask? Okay, back on May 10th our dossier went to China. That is ALL the mounds of paperwork that we compiled along with the USCIS preliminary approval to adopt was sent over the pond. Our dossier was officially logged in with the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) on May 15th (keep this date in mind, as it is important!) 

So, after our LID we got to start counting days until the all-important LOA (Letter of Acceptance) comes from the CCCWA. Yes, in the adoption community, you actually count the days. It's important; people (like me) want to know EXACTLY how many excruciating months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds it's taken to get your LOA. After your LOA comes, some other tedious paperwork has to happen (also involving the USCIS and other govt. entities) and then you get the ever-coveted Travel Approval (TA). Oooooooo, aaaaaaaaahhhhhh...TA. After you TA, depending on your Consulate Appointment, you are boarding a plane in as little as a week, possibly! 

So, they say once your LOA is issued, it's about 10 weeks until you travel. Right now we are on day 40 of our LOA wait. So every email notification I've received since May 15th, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking "This could be it! This could be our agency saying we have our LOA!" But alas, that hasn't happened yet:(    Listen closely because you might hear me screaming in the near future when it arrives:)  We are still hoping for September travel.

Along our breezy adoption journey, we have encountered one rogue gust... The CCCWA decided (after almost 20 years of international adoption) to implement a new computer system, yay! Underfunded, slow-moving government bureaucracy in a communist country implementing a new system, what could go wrong?!? ....(grumbling under my breath)....  My high hopes for a record-breaking LOA have come and gone since the new system has slowed things down a bit. There haven't been many LOAs lately, but today we finally started to see some coming in (I'm involved with a group of adoptive moms who are also adopting from China and are on a similar timeline, isn't the internet wonderful? It's a great support group!) I'm hopeful since some of the people who have been waiting 70+, 80+, 100+ days for their LOA FINALLY received theirs today! 

I don't want to let myself think that we will wait that long, but there's a great variance in wait times for some unknowns reasons....like maybe if they like the outfit you are wearing in your dossier photos?? I have no clue.

I'm just trusting in God's time. I know it's perfect. That's the only thing that gives me peace now. And it is a great test of my faith to keep that always in the forefront of my mind. But it does comfort me. 

So the next time you hear from me, I hope my blog will have LOA in the title!!

I leave you with a few pictures of our Sam. 

Getting tickled!

We're coming as fast as we can, buddy!