Only 3 months? Really?

I can't believe that it's only been three months since we landed on U.S. soil with Sam. It sounds cliche to say, but it really feels like he's been with us forever. He has meshed with our family so perfectly and bonded with us so well that I really can't say this has been "hard." We know we are blessed.  

3 months ago:

Shannon, Ella, and Daniel have been amazing with him. What a lucky boy he is to have such wonderful big siblings. And he knows he has them wrapped around his finger:) He is treated like little prince around here a lot! We're trying not to let it go to his head. They are constantly asking (begging?) for hugs. He can be a little stingy with his hugs to them, which I think is mostly a power thing. He likes to make his own decisions about things. But at bedtime (around 6:45) he LOVES to give them all kisses and hugs before his bedtime stories. It's pretty sweet. 

I would describe his personality as laid-back yet also assertive and determined. He's not overly dramatic, doesn't really have a temper or have meltdowns. He gets cranky or does things he knows he shouldn't do when he's tired. He also wakes up grump, especially after nap. But usually perks right up after a short period of time. 

He likes to be silly and make his siblings laugh by making funny faces or noises. He also appreciates slapstick, so Daniel loves to entertain him using physical humor:)

Sam repeats pretty much everything we say. He talks A LOT. Especially repeating our names MANY times throughout the day. I'm not worried about his language skills! He is putting two words together, such as "Chloe outside" and "change diaper" and "Daniel, stop."   He makes known what he wants and we rarely have trouble understanding what he is trying to convey.

He also says "I love you" which sounds like "I ba loo." :) He also has wonderful manners and says "thank you" whenever anyone does something for him.

First day of preschool Nov. 18th

For the first month or so he cried when I dropped him at his room. But now he walks right in and gives me a kiss goodbye! He just recently got comfortable going to the nursery at church now.

Christmas 

Ski trip to NC during winter break

Playing at Wills Park with cousins Jan. 2014

He loves all of his cousins as well. He gets right in the middle of the action and enjoys a good party! He's not shy and is quite independent. We noticed that even in China when he would wander away from us in the hotel lobby. He seems to have a lot of self-confidence and feels secure. He knows how to give and receive love and affection. It is obvious to me that he was loved by his caregivers in China. And that has made all the difference. 

Sam's favorite things to do:

• play with trains (especially his battery powered Thomas)
• play with cars on the ramp
• play with play-doh
• go places in the car
• play outside 
• play with siblings/ cousins
• go down slides
• say "no"
• eat carbs and sweets and drink milk
• summon us to come by saying "qualay" (at least that's what it sounds like; I don't know the actual Chinese word)

Things that aren't his favorite:

• watching TV
• saying "yes"
• eating vegetables 
• swinging on swings
• sitting still
• sleeping in
• when his siblings tell him he can't do something (oh wait, that doesn't happen)

And as far as his medical needs go, it's pretty much a non-issue at this point. His heart surgery was done well in China and the pediatric cardiologist cleared him to do anything a typical toddler would do. We go back in year for an annual check up.

So that's about it for our 3-month check in... soccer will be starting back up soon and the girls will be on the same team again. They are looking forward to that. We are looking to get Daniel into swimming since he loves the water and has a lot of energy that needs to be released. With the frigid winter we've had here, I'm soooo ready for Spring already. I'm very much looking forward to our summer family vacation where we will go to a beach house with my brother's family and my parents. It will be so fun to watch all the cousins play together at the beach! (Yes, I know we have many months to wait, I just need to think warm thoughts now:))

In case you missed it, here is the link to the adoption video

https://vimeo.com/83900205

We couldn't imagine our life without him. So glad God called us to adopt. And so glad we able to say "yes!" 

Is our life busy? yes, but not too busy

Is everything in order and neat? No way! 

Is our house messy? yes, but whenever we clean it, just gets messy again, so...

Do I feel overwhelmed? No, strangely I don't. Sure, I have my moments when it's been a long day and Fred is out of town, but if I stop and put things in perspective, it's easy to count my blessings and take it all in stride. The older kids are good helpers and have been great about pitching in around the house.  I've learned to embrace the mess, not worry about having everything "just right." Once I let go of that, I found I enjoyed my life more. 

As long as the kids are happy and don't feel stressed and our life doesn't feel like chaos, then I think we're doing pretty good. Everyone helps out, we emphasize treating each other kindly, we make sure the kids do their school work and practice instruments and have time to play and relax as well. I guess we have a "big" family now? I don't know what the magic number is. But with the amount of food that goes down in this house, I'd say we're a big family.

It's fun, it's messy, it's a bit crazy. We don't do everything perfectly, we we do our best and learn from our mistakes. We are thankful for all we have. 

Until next time...

50 Days

He's been ours for 50 days. Well, really he's been in our arms for 50 days.  I think he's been ours for much longer. The woman who runs his foster home told me on gotcha day that he is our son and he feels that. We felt it too, right away, and now it seems like he's been in our family forever. I've heard other adoptive parents say this. It is a very comforting feeling. I know we are only at the beginning of our journey. No where near the end. We will be on this journey for the rest of our lives and so will Sam. The journey to adoption doesn't end with the signing of official paperwork, that's just the beginning. I'm enjoying every milestone, every step, every hug, every laugh, and I'm happy I can calm the fears and soothe the tears. He is a precious gift, like our three we got "the old-fashioned way." And I know God has big plans for him, I'm looking forward to watching him blossom and reach his full potential. 

I don't know how many of you reading this saw the post on Facebook from Little Flower Projects, where he was as an infant. I have kept in touch with them and they recently shared a birthday picture I sent them from his second birthday which was on November 17th. They know their supporters love to see updates from the children they cared for. I knew he was weak and malnourished when he came into their care in March 2012, but I never knew he weighed less than 6 lbs. at 4 months old. They posted the link to the intake picture of him at that time. Of course people were amazed to see the effect that medical treatment and love have had. But that isn't the miracle. God had a plan all along and it's a miracle that he made it to Little Flower and his life began to change. The miracle happened in the orphanage... God had a plan. A BIG plan.

It amazes me that when I chose that verse to be a permanent fixture on my blog and as the verse I wanted on the cross-stitching my mom made for him, I had no idea the significance it would have now.

 I started thinking about what Lily told me... that he wasn't on the list of babies the orphanage wanted to send to them. But why not? They send babies with club feet, cleft lip/palate, premature, heart defects, etc. They were sending a lot of special needs babies out into foster care at the time. Why wasn't he on the list? They knew other babies needed help and they were asking for help. Surely anyone could have taken one look at him (like Lily did, thank the Lord) and could tell that he was in dire need of medical attention. Why then? After some thought, I came to this conclusion.... they had given up on him. He was too sick, too skinny, his heart was too defected. They were trying to help the babies they thought they could save. But God gave him the strength to survive, even when those around him had given up hope.  And as this reality hit me and I started taking into account ALL that his little body has been through in his short life and ALL the different caregivers and homes he has had, the magnitude of this miracle finally hit me, hard. And it was so obvious that God has carried him every step of the way, especially in those first months in the orphanage. I have this overwhelming feeling of honor, that God chose us to be his parents. US!!  As I held him in my arms at bedtime after my epiphany, I just felt so lucky, so honored to be his mom and so hopeful for his future. I know he is happy and he knows we are his family, forever. God's plans are beyond our understanding at times, but now everything feels right. 

I was so happy my grandma was able to come down for Thanksgiving at my parents' house. She is 93 and doing great, but her memory is going and she has a hard time retaining information. Needless to say, this adoption was a big thing for her to wrap her head around, but she did! She was looking forward to meeting Sam, and she fed him some Thanksgiving food and kept commenting on how pretty his hair was and how cute he was:) My mom told her about our adoption over time and she was able to truly understand the significance of what we were doing. That was such a blessing to me because she has always been such a role-model for me spiritually. We have always been very close and all my life she showed my, by example, how to be a loving, forgiving, and joyful person and her close relationship with God was her rock. Her faith is very strong. She loves God and has done a beautiful job of sharing the love of God with the people around her in her family and community. Her relationship with God was something I always aspired for and is definitely a part of my faith journey. I love my grandma!

One last one of our silly, happy, sweet boy...

Happy at Home - 2 weeks later

Wow, time has flown by since we arrived home over a week ago (now getting close to 2 weeks since I can't seem to get this blog posted!  NOW it's past 2 weeks, we've been busy ). Sam is settling in more and more each day. It was so amazing to see the kids at the airport. What an emotional reunion for all of us. Once we got in the car, it felt so natural, like he was meant to be in our family. I think the age difference is just right for us.

The kids had fun showing him all his new toys!

When we first arrived home, he was terrified of Chloe. He was walking through the house, saw her looking through deck door and FREAKED OUT. He was really scared. So Uncle Alan offered to take Chloe for a couple of days so he could get used to his siblings and his new house before he faced his fear.
Also, Fred and I were completely exhausted. We both wanted to curl up in a ball in a dark room and sleep, but we kinda had four kids to take care of so.....

In the first few days we figured out the sleeping situation needed to be changed. Having the crib in Daniel's room was not working. Daniel was sleeping in Ella's top bunk (so he was kicked out of his room) and I was sleeping on the bottom bunk in the room with Sam and usually with Sam in the bed with me:/  We decided to move the crib into our room and he was more comfortable and has been sleeping in his crib each night until at least 5am (then moves into our bed often.) He needs this emotional support now and close proximity to us. We are all getting sleep and that is THE BEST!

So for 2-3 days after Chloe came home, he screamed when he saw her, he was scared if she walked his way (heck, he was scared if he came upon her sleeping on the floor.) But by the 4th day he started petting her a little and a couple more days went by and he's laying on her and hugging her like he's the biggest dog lover in our family.

Sam is one laid-back boy 90% of the time. He goes with the flow, which is great for our family since we are on the go a lot. He's been to soccer practice, soccer games, out to eat, a baby shower, multiple stores, his grandparents' house, the elementary school, the preschool, the jumpy house place and he takes it all in stride. He's getting used to meeting new people and making eye contact and saying "Hi." He especially loves them if they give him yummy food:)

 He is sweet and always shows concern when someone is hurt or upset. He likes playing with balls, likes going outside, likes wandering around the house checking out different things. Won't sit still, not interested in TV shows, likes to sit in his high chair, LOVES to eat and has tried a variety of foods, always sneezes three times in a row, can say his siblings' names pretty well, won't nap in crib but will fall asleep in the car or on the couch in the morning. He's independent and will wander away from me outside or in public. He's learning words like please, thank you, more, eat. He calls me 'mama' and Fred 'Daddy' (or mama). He often tries to repeat words we say and I know he understands more than he can say.  Still refers to Chloe as "gogo" but really loves her. 

He did so well with Halloween (which was only 5 days after we got home!) Not scared of anything really. I guess we all look like freaks to him:) He lasted the whole time we were out and hung with the big kids. It helped that our wonderful friends had a trailer for us to ride in:)

Big fan of chocolate:)

We have some doctors' appointments this week for check-ups with the pediatrician and cardiologist. I have a feeling everything will check out fine but it will be comforting to know for certain.  Sam also has his 2nd birthday coming up next Sunday the 17th! We are looking forward to a big family celebration and lots of yummy food, new toys, and of course CAKE! 


So, to wrap it up, it feels like he's been part of our family for much longer than 2 weeks. He's a natural Dri:)  The kids have been so wonderful with him. All of them. I don't think Sam could have asked for better big sisters and big bro. We all love him so much and I know he feels that. I know how blessed we are. I'm not sure I can even fully grasp it though, in my head. Sometimes life is like that. It's not too perfect, because nothing we do is, but it feels "just right." It feels like home. And I know we will have our ups and downs and our difficult moments and uncomfortable feelings, but I know we'll get through. I have such confidence in our family. And even though we won't make all the "right" decisions, Sam is gonna know he is loved and he will know he belongs in this family for the rest of his life. And that makes me happy.



Until next time, I leave you with some pictures...

"What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life; to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories."

-George Eliot

"Family life is full of major and minor crises - the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce - and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It's difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul."

-Thomas Moore

Our night in Hong Kong

Well, we thought we were gonna have an ealry night here, but hey, ya never know with us... Actually we tried to head out for our sightseeing earlier in the day. But by the time we had a lazy morning and late breakfast, Sam was ready for a nap. So we decided to go out after his nap. 

With a little help from the front desk guy, we made our way by bus, then subway, then another bus to a place called The Peak. It's got the best views in Hong Kong. There are restaurants and shopping and a viewing area as well as residences and walking paths. The bus we took from the subway station up there was a great deal (which we love), but as soon as we pulled away from the bus stop, this guy was driving like a manhattan cab driver. As we were going thorough the city, it reminded me of a James Bond movie. Very hilly, very busy, twisty roads, tropical trees, and many foreigners. I think the bus driver also thought he was in a Bond movie because he was driving like someone was chasing him on these steep, curvy roads. It's always an adventure! 

Everyone is very nice and helpful here and most people speak English, which makes our life a little easier:)

Here are some pics from The Peak

We ate at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co for dinner. We are done with Asian food for a while:)  The fried shrimp po'boy was yummy as were the French fries and COLD beer (china is not into cold drinks so much). Sam loved his popcorn shrimp!

Our view 

Went up top

It was pretty awesome to see!

Ready for bed and to get on an airplane in the morning!!  (It will be 8:00pm Friday in Atlanta, and we will get there 2:40pm Saturday). 

Hong Kong and out!

It's Friday morning here in Hong Kong. We arrived by van last night around 9:00pm. It took about 3.5 hours to get here from Guangzhou. We shared the van with another couple in our group and luckily both little boys slept and were content the whole way! Whew!  When you leave China mainland, you have to go through customs at the border. Since we had 6 people in our van and they only allow 4 to be in the van to go through, 2 people had to get out and go through the building inside to clear customs. Fred took Sam and went in while the rest of us went through in the van. We were told we could all stay in the van by our guide, so we were a little surprised when the driver told us this. I was a little nervous as I watched Fred carry Sam in with just their passports to get them through, but everything worked out (other than the long line for the cars with passengers to wait in.) We must have waited over 15-20 minutes (seemed longer) to get through in the van. They take a look at your passports and your face, and that's about it. Then we picked up Fred and Sam on the other side. Fred said they let him go through a special line inside, so he didn't have to wait long at all. Then we all got back in the van and went to the Hong Kong immigration check. Passports and photo check again and they used a fancy thermometer gun thingy to check our temps. Not sure how that worked because she didn't seem to really take much time making sure she aimed it at everyone's head, but I guess she did. Apparently, Hong Kong started doing that temp check years ago during the SARS epidemic and just haven't discontinued it. So, yay! We all got out of the mainland and into Hong Kong safely.

Hong Kong is much more modern and western and tropical than the mainland. We are staying at another nice Marriott here for tonight and then will fly out tomorrow morning around 8am local time. Hong Kong is much different than the mainland and it's nice that no where in the hotel does it smell like smoke. Even in GZ on the non-smoking floor, it would reek of smoke in the hall late at night (and it would come through the ventilation system.)

We were also thrilled this morning when they had actual fresh brewed coffee at breakfast! It's hard to get a good cup of coffee in China! #notateadrinker

We are going to to explore Hong Kong a little today and then go to bed early for our big travel day tomorrow.

As we left the mainland with Sam, I was looking at him thinking of all he's been through in the past couple of weeks. Thank goodness kids are resilient. I look at him and know that his story will always be complicated. More complicated than the rest of our children. His story is one of loss and redemption and most of all love. He has lost his birth parents, his homeland, his culture, his nannies, and his foster siblings. He was found, and rescued and cared for by many people. Many fibers in the thread that led us to him. His birth parents knew they could not care for him. If he did not have surgery, he would still be very ill. They did something many of us could never consider, yet we do not know what it's like in their country, their society. He was found, he was taken to an orphanage, he was saved by another caring soul whom I believe God sent to him, he was healed, he was loved. By God's grace, he was sent to a Christian foster home and was not only cared for, but was loved, truly loved. He lost them as well. On Gotcha Day,  one of his nannies said to me holding back tears in her very best English, "God be with you." I nodded, trying to convey to her the depth of our gratitude and my understanding of her loss. Then she said, "God be with both of us."  I know He is and has been every step of the way.

Although he is taking it all in stride now, one day Sam will have questions. I'm sure he'll have many questions. Fred and I want to be prepared to answer them, although there will be some we won't know how to answer. But what we will be able to tell him is that he was loved. Throughout his life, he was loved. Even for the first several months in his orphanage, he was loved by parents who would never know his fate. Then he was loved by the amazing caregivers and volunteers who healed him at Little Flower and his foster home. And God has  loved him always, from the minute he was born. Just as God loves all people, every baby, every person no matter their way of life or belief system. God loves. And He gives this gift to us, this amazing capacity to love each other.  I used to wonder how I could love a child the same way I love my biological children. It's by God's grace. And we are blessed that it has come easy for us. And while some transitions can take longer and the feelings of love and attachment may not come as quickly, they do come. Every child should know this love so that they may learn to love in return.

When I look at Sam, I feel like we have this precious gift. A gift from China, a gift from God. We promise to love him always as our son and never diminish his past or his birth country. He will be become an American citizen very soon, and I'm so thankful for that. He will have opportunities and freedom and choice, and a family who loves him unconditionally. He will not be a Chinese citizen because they do not recognize dual citizenship, but part of him will always be Chinese. We will do our best to honor that. 

We can't wait to be home and see the kids! I'm wondering how Sam will react to them at first. He is a slow-to-warm-up kinda kid, so we'll see. He doesn't offer smiles too easily if he doesn't know you, but I know those smiles and laughter will be filling our house soon enough.



I will leave you with some pictures...

Some are from Shaiman Island. It was in GZ and many adoptive parents visit and take pics with the statue of the children. Sam was a little freaked out by the statue:)

These frozen children are freaking him out!

Good buds

This is from the park in Zhengzhou, in his province... a crowd gathered around us adoptive parents..

Split pants:) In China, toddlers just go where they are!

He loves to pick up leaves. He's gonna have a big job at our house!

People get around on bikes and scooters in ZZ

You have to be careful on the sidewalks!!

Dressed up for the U.S. Consulate appointment

Traditional Chinese silk outfit

Our good friends daughters and Sam's foster bro, Elias

Ready to go home to their forever families!