I love you to China and back...

So there's this little boy... and he's never known a family... and he doesn't have his momma or baba, no grandparents or siblings... 

 ...and he lives on the 13th floor of a big building with many other children and he rarely leaves this building.

... he has seen other children leave with the director to go meet their moms and dads... he has seen these children come back with their moms and dads and families to say goodbye... 

...and about a year ago an orphanage director had him and his friend stand in front of an American dad with a video camera and say “hello” and count, and recite a poem... and he knew why he was doing this... he knew he was waiting for a family to adopt him...that he had no family coming for him, and the orphanage was hoping a family would see him and chose him... 

...but it wouldn't be just any family, it would be HIS family. Let me ask you.... How did WE get so lucky? Because I don't think we chose him, I believe he was chosen for us. And I don't think that we should adopt him,
I believe that we are supposed to.

For those who haven't heard, we received Travel Approval from the Chinese government on my birthday, June 3^rd. Our consulate appointment, which is the “last stop” in the process in China, is set for July 8^th. We will get Joshua on Monday June 30^th . In our arms forever. We will hopefully be allowed to go visit the orphanage on Wednesday July 2^nd. So he can say goodbye.

I realized the other day that the video that drew me to Joshua was taken on Wednesday July 3^rd last year. Orphanage boys video

Almost exactly one year to the day since he stood in front of that camera, he will be our son. What a difference a year makes. And on top of that the boy standing next to him in the video, his friend... well, his family is waiting on Travel Approval as I post this. If they can't travel the same time as us, they will be right behind us. Both of these orphanage brothers will be coming home to the good ole' U.S. of A. and will be able to keep in touch. God is good. And we and his friend's family are forever grateful to Terri for advocating for these boys during her daughter's adoption trip. Just one person can make an enormous difference.

We were able to see a little video of him this week. Facebook video from orphanage  

A family who had just adopted their two sons from his orphanage was so kind as to carry a gift over. They were allowed to visit the orphanage and give it to him in person and video that for us. Of course he didn't open it, because in China that is not what you do. They usually do not open the gift in front of the gift-giver. But I hope he liked his toys and new Superman t-shirt... Superman was adopted you know:)

As for the rest of our life... not so settled. The house WAS under contract for a month, but the would-be buyer couldn't sell his house, so that fell through. To be honest, not a surprise. Would have been nice if it worked out, but I also really liked not having to clean the entire thing every other day when someone wanted to come see it.

We put it back on the market, and we'll see what happens. Found one house that is under construction that we love, but it's a bit out of the range we initially were looking in. For now, we are going to let the cards fall where they may. Since we are going on a beach trip next week and then to China, it won't be a pain for us to let people come see it.

I will say that I WISH everything/everyone was more settled. If we stay here, the girls will move to the basement but we need to have some renovations done first and then Daniel will go to Shannon's room and Sam will go into Daniels room with Joshua and Ella's room will become the play room upstairs. See? I have it all worked out in my mind, I just can't move any furniture yet... So for now, we are ALL still upstairs and Sam is still in our room in his crib (even though he could TOTALLY be in his own room or in a room with Daniel) but now since we can't move the girls to the basement in the next two weeks, Joshua will need to be in with Daniel and we are still stuck with... I mean, Sam will still be in our room.

Not as neat and tidy as I'd like it to be, but hey, come July 11^th all 7 of us will be under one roof and that's what matters.

I've, of course, been thinking about the adoption trip and about Joshua everyday. I follow the journeys of other adoptive families on Facebook. Some go seemingly smoothly, some are quite difficult, some appear to be going smoothly at first but then hit bumps in the road. Of course the bumps will be there. You have to be mentally prepared for that. Doesn't make it easy though when you hit that unexpected bump out of nowhere. And just hope it's not a huge pothole that throws everything out of alignment. 

But what if it is? 

What if everything was going along smoothly and you thought you were doing everything right and everyone was happy, but then it gets bumpy and all of a sudden there's a humongous pothole that you can't avoid? And then what? Well, you have to fix what is broken. Even if you didn't break it. Even if you did everything you could and it still happened and life is out of alignment. That's what you have to prepare for. That can happen to anyone, no? In adoptions, in parenting, in relationships, in life... when you are thrown for a loop, what do you do?

This is where my faith calms me. I don't know what I'd do without it. I don't know how people, good, strong people, face life-altering tragedies or events without it. God never expected us to go it alone, to rely on ourselves. Thank goodness! I'd be a mess for sure by now. Okay, a different kind of mess.

Knowing God is with me makes me feel safe. I couldn't do this without Him.

Even though I have in my mind how I think Joshua's personality will be, he may be nothing like that. Even though I have a rose-colored vision of how smoothly this adoption trip and transition into our family can be, it may be completely the opposite. But I'm not scared. I'm not nervous. We will be fine. I'm not going to wait until things get too much for me to handle to reach out to God. I'm gonna be doing that the WHOLE TIME! I ask you to pray for Joshua. For his heart to be unbroken, for his soul to find peace, for him to feel safe and to be able to accept our love.

People look at us and congratulate us on adopting Sam, they raise their eyebrows when they hear we are going back in a couple of weeks to adopt again. “You guys are great parents... you must be a supermom.” That's one thing I've noticed, when you get to this many kids, and especially if some are adopted, you are by default considered a “supermom.” Hey, I'm not gonna argue with the truth... ba-dum ching! But seriously, people. We try our best and are good parents, but we aren't perfect or “super.” (Although there are many times I wish I had the superpower of mind control around here, things would be much easier for me.) I'm telling ya, I get my strength from God. And I'm not even a “super-Christian” either! Nope, not even close. But I do feel I'm doing what God has intended for me to do, and that's a comforting feeling. And I look at Joshua's face and I see my son and I know he is mine, even though we've never met, and that is by His grace that is possible.

So we're off to China soon and when we come home we may be moving or we may be staying, either way, rooms will be switched and kids will be shuffled, but everyone will have a bed to sleep in one way or another. (As you can see, I'm REALLY letting this go, no it's not bothering me at all.)

We will come home the day before Daniel's birthday, and he reminded us that we will, as per Dri Family tradition, have to go out to dinner at his restaurant of choice on his birthday. And we will... Fred, Shannon, Ella, Joshua, and I may fall asleep at the table, but we'll be out.... probably at Red Robin...yum:) 

For the recored, Daniel also let me know that we could have his kid party the next day, it didn't have to be ON his birthday. Thanks, Daniel. Um, yeah, not gonna happen, buddy. Give Mommy and Daddy a week or so before we host a herd of 7 year old boys. 

Hopefully I'll blog again before we leave for China. I'm amazed at how quickly this adoption process has gone so far. If it weren't for this big family trip we have coming up, we could be leaving tomorrow. I feel some guilt that we aren't since I pushed for the medical expedite. (I had no idea it could happen this fast!) But I also believe this trip is important for our family and we couldn't move the date. 

I can't tell you how this story will end, nor do I want to know. I'm enjoying the journey. It's been quite a ride so far. I'm blessed.

Wait, I never learned to juggle...

I always thought juggling was a pretty cool talent. Fred can juggle three things... it's quite impressive actually. I can't say it was the magical thing that drew me to him, but it didn't hurt;)

But, no, I never learned to juggle. Kinda the opposite, really. My family growing up was very calm and planned out. Very safe and practical. Now believe me, I had a wonderful childhood and family life. I felt confident in myself that I could do whatever I put my mind to. On the whole, my parents liked to plan out things and not do too much at once. We weren't one of those crazy busy families with multiple activities, last minute decision-making, and risk-taking adventures. 

Keep that in mind... now let me share with you our past month or so in the Dri Family...

4 kids in school with all the activities and projects that go along with that, Fred's work is good and busy and has him travel fairly often for short trips, I work 3 half days at the preschool, we are in the middle of a medically expedited adoption for a 5 year old boy from China who speaks no English and has lived in an orphanage since he was an infant, he will also need to see a specialist for his Thalassemia soon after we come home and will have multiple appointments thereafter, things are moving along very quickly in the adoption process and we are probably a little over a month away from travel, we have to apply for and send off for the girls' visas and finish the rest of our travel documents and approvals, we want to travel by train in country so we have to figure out all the details for that, we decided to put our house on the market since the selling is good and try to get a bigger floor plan, house went under contract pretty quickly (but has a contingency that another house sells), we do not know where we are moving to but have been looking diligently, the kids are wondering where they will go to school next year and we can't tell them, we have a big extended family beach trip planned for mid June, we could be closing before our beach trip and leaving for China when we return from the beach, or we could not close before the beach leaving us little to no time to get closed and moved out before Fred, I, and the girls leave for China, we may find a resale that we want to buy or we may have to wait for a house to be completed... 

*courtesy of http://www.momgetsalife.com/

Yes, that's JUST what I look like... what?

Lots and lots of balls in the air. I'm pretty sure we will drop a few of them, but as long as we catch the important ones, all is good. Strangely, I do not feel panic about the situation. I feel a peace that it will all work out some way. Which is true, it may work out the way I'd like, but most likely it won't. Most likely we will have some difficulty along the way. Some of those balls in the air will drop to the ground and mess up our flow. But what do you do when that happens? You take a breath, say a prayer, refocus and on the goal, and pick up that ball and keep going. Good jugglers probably don't even feel like they are exerting any effort when they juggle, even if they have many balls up in the air. They are used to the motion and it just feels natural.

What's the goal? Love others the way the God loves us. That's a pretty lofty goal, but I think it's what many of us strive for. And I think it's what God wants us to strive for. To love our spouse like that, our children like that, our friends and neighbors like that... 

I'm sure I fall short of reaching this goal, on a daily basis, but I'm trying. I would love others to know the peace of God's love. Even though it's beyond our comprehension, I know that God has given me the strength to follow Him, even when life gets busy. Obviously we have chosen to make multiple major life decisions at once. That's how we roll, I guess. Or sometimes it's just how life pans out.

I really love this verse. You see, you can't explain God's love. It's beyond words. We can't know God's plan, it's beyond us. But you can feel His love and it is peace. I want my children to know and feel this verse. We are so blessed that we get to be the parents to Sam and Joshua. We are not their first parents, not their only parents, but we are the ones that will influence them the most and teach them and guide them... geesh, we better not screw it up!

Today is the day before Mother's Day. I learned today that is a special day in the adoption community... it's Birth Mother Day. I sometimes look at Sam and try to picture him with his Chinese family. Because they are out there, somewhere. It's weird to think about. I wonder how often his birth mom thinks of him... everyday? I am so thankful that she chose life for him. The choices that people in China have are much more limited than here in the U.S.  He was born with a sick heart, his heart required surgery, she couldn't afford that surgery, she couldn't care for a sick baby. She chose to give him up so that he could live. This wasn't a selfish act. It was selfless. 

Same with Joshua, and maybe even more so, I believe his parents knew his condition was chronic and life-threatening. Joshua was close to a year old when he was found by authorities. About the age that some issues would have become evident. Blood transfusions are not something a typical family in China can afford on a regular basis. Plus, he most likely wouldn't have gotten the iron chelation medication he needed if he lived in China and this would have resulted in a build up of iron in his organs leading to an early death. Adoption out of country is the best medical option for these kids. But as beautiful and joyful as adoption has been for us, we have to remember that it started with a broken family, an unimaginable act, a painful memory.  We will always honor and hold in our hearts Sam's and Joshua's birth mother and father. We are not to judge others, we are to show them love and compassion.

Speaking of adoption, I'm very behind in my updates here. Well, I've been busy, okay (see above.) 

So here we go:  we got our Letter of Acceptance in record time! one week!!! Yay for the Chinese govt. expediting this! (This took 79 days with Sam.) 

Now we are waiting for one last approval from the U.S. govt to adopt Joshua specifically. Then things get put in motion to send our paperwork to the U.S. consulate in Guangzhou, China to obtain a visa for Joshua to leave China with us. Then once that is issued they send the paperwork over to the Chinese govt again so they can issue travel approval and then we get a consulate appointment and then we know exactly when we can leave. Here is a simple diagram to help (we are waiting on #10)...

Since we have medical expedite letters, we think we will be able to leave in late June, after we get home from our beach trip. It will all be here before we know it!  

Joshua knows we are coming (but not exactly when). I plan on using a service to send him a cake with a little note telling him about when we may be there. I think they are preparing him some for the adoption process, but I really don't know. 

I can't wait to get this boy home! Your days without a mama and baba are almost over, my Joshua.

I think about him everyday. I often think that we may bring him home and not have a house for him! Minor detail. 

I know it is very unlikely that he will transition as easily and quickly as Sam. He's older and knows more. He will have many more memories and will be set in his ways more. He is not used to having a family. It's going to be scary for him to come to a different country, not understand anything that is being said around him, and be surrounded by unfamiliar people and places. 

I'm being cautiously optimistic and also trying to be realistic... things could get quite messy around here for a bit. 

Whatever happens, however the balls drops or not, we will be okay. Better than okay. We will have each other and God will lead us if we seek Him. God's love and power is immeasurable. 

"You call me out upon the waters. The great unknown, where feet may fail. 

And there I find You in the mystery. In oceans deep, my faith will stand. 

I will call upon Your Name. 

And keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise. 

My soul will rest in Your embrace. 

For I am Yours and You are mine. 

Your grace abounds in deepest waters. Your sovereign hand will be my guide. 

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me. 

You’ve never failed and You won’t start now. 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. 

Let me walk upon the waters. Wherever You would call me. 

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander. 

And my faith will be made stronger. In the presence of my Savior." 

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" by Hillsong United

What's in a name?...

Over the past few weeks, the reality of this adoption has begun to sink in. It seemed kind of surreal at first, even when we sent in our Letter of Intent to our agency. Maybe because we had discussed it for so long, went back and forth, and by the time we made the final decision, it just didn't seem real.

We also didn't have a name decided. We would refer to him by his Chinese name (although there's an 85% chance that we were mispronouncing it.) There were many opinions from the kids about his name. Daniel wanted Jake or Jack Ella liked Jackson... Shannon liked Elijah... One name we all liked was Jace. Pretty cool name, no? Very hip, very 2104... But really too hip and cool for our family. We tend to go with the tried and true traditional names here at the Dri house. Either of Irish decent or Biblical seem to be our pattern. To be honest, we didn't intend for both boys to have Biblical names, really. It just worked out like that. Sam is only Samuel because we felt that should be his "real" first name. But he's TOTALLY a Sam, not a Samuel. He's tough and assertive and happy when he's working on something. He's a doer, and he gets things done. 

And Daniel does NOT like when people call him Dan. Even when he was little, he didn't like that nickname. Neither do I, for him. He was a Daniel from the get go. (Have you seen his newscaster hair he does every morning and every evening?) He likes things a certain way... and that is his way:) He's silly, loud, sensitive, and loving.

And I love that Shannon's name is not too popular. It's an Irish classic and so beautiful and independent, like her:) Ella is our "Ella Bella." Full of life and humor and drama. Always making us laugh, except when she is crying...

So to pick a name for a five year old Chinese boy is not an easy task. We know a little about his personality. He's timid and shy but will open up to you once he knows you. He likes to play with other he knows well. He's introverted and does well in his preschool. According to the lady who met him at the orphanage, he seems very bright. 

For a few days it seemed his name would be Jace, but it just didn't fit when I said it. Shannon mentioned a name back when we first thought of adopting him. It was a name that I really liked for him. It seemed to fit him and it fit in our family.

On Wednesday February 12, one day after his fifth birthday, we received Pre-Approval from the Chinese government to adopt him. That just means that we can continue on in our paper chase to bring him home. 

So we knew we REALLY needed to pick a name. The kids wanted to be able to refer to him by his name.

Without further ado... Here is our son, Joshua YaQiu Dri

Joshua means: "God is Salvation"

We are all so excited to bring him home. I've connected with other families who have adopted children from his orphanage and it seems like a good one, relatively speaking. They have a preschool program there from an American organization called Half The Sky. http://halfthesky.org/en  We hope he is part of this preschool program. It is a large orphanage, but we so excited to know the family who is adopting the other boy in the video I saw. Our boys are friends and they will be traveling to get their son a little before us! They live in Wisconsin, but at least we can Skype:)

He seems like ours to me now. This is real. It's an amazing thing to love a little boy thousands of miles away... I'm constantly blown away by this ability God give us to love. Life is good, people. Life. is. good.

The medical expedite is not going to be as easy as I thought, but these people obviously don't know who they are dealing with. This momma isn't giving up. Joshua needs to come home as soon as possible. And I'm going to do everything within my power to make that happen. Prayers appreciated:)

Here is the link to the video that brought him into our lives. Thanks to Terri and her husband for making that video and advocating for these boys. She is part of our red thread story forever. 

Joshua is in the yellow shirt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGD2BCu5HdY

So what's next? Our social worker is coming Wednesday for the one and only visit. Thankfully she has the majority of her report already written from last time. I'll give her all the paper work she needs and she'll write the update. Then we send it to the USCIS to get a new approval to put in our dossier to go to China. Most of the dossier is just photocopied and sent (Yay!) So we only need to get three documents notarized, sealed and authenticated. 

Until next time...

I have this story to tell you...

I've been contemplating writing this blog post for over a month now. There were times when I thought I might not need to write it, but I'm so filled with joy to share this story with you.

Let me start by saying that I have felt God work in my life in amazing ways over the past few years. I feel like my relationship with God is definitely stronger than it was say, four or five years ago (although I'm still working on living how He wants me to live, it's a challenge that I welcome.) I can't really put my finger on why or how I came closer to God and started seeking Him more in my life. It's not like He was absent in my life before a few years ago, I think I had just gotten busy with ME and what I wanted and felt like I deserved. For some reason, 2-3 years ago I found myself being really drawn to listening to the local Christian music station. The songs drew me in and their words spoke to me. We began going to a new church with great music as well and sermons that were designed to reach those who may have drifted away from God. The sermons were very applicable to daily life, and for me, were very inspiring. I started seeking His will for my life. I prayed for it and asked Him to reveal it to me. As I look back on it now, I seems clear that God was calling me closer to Him. There wasn't much that changed in my life around that time, but God had a plan, a big one. 

He led us to adopt Sam, which has been one of the most unbelievable blessings of our lives. Our whole family is blessed by him and all the other special people who are part of his life. 

We don't adopt out of guilt or pity... we adopt out of love. We don't adopt because it's our 'duty' to help, we adopt because it's our honor to be his parents. 

Fred and I love being parents to these great kids. It's been a joy to watch the older three with Sam. They love him so much, and it's so real and so true. He is their little brother, forever.

Now, getting to the story I want to share... last summer we were in the middle of our adoption. We were not so patiently waiting on a official approval from China that would set things in motion so we could travel. It was mid-July and I was checking the latest updates on the Facebook group of other families in the process of adopting from China. There were people in various stages of the process, some were behind us, some were recently home with their child, and some were traveling. A lady in the group posted her blog site where she was advocating for some children who were in her daughter's orphanage. She had recently returned home with her daughter who was adopted from Hunan. The post was titled "Friends left behind." I clicked on the video and there were two boys, both 4 years old. One was very animated and active, not shy in front of the American holding the camera:) The other boy was timid and seemed a little unsure of himself. They were boys whom the orphanage was hoping to find families for. They had both waited years, their files were prepared and ready for a family to adopt them. It is not rare to learn about children in China (and all over the world) who have waited years for a family. Once we got into the "adoption community, " my eyes were opened to all the needs and all the children without families. 


It is certainly true, no one person can "save" them all. There are millions of orphans in the world. I learned that there are kids of all ages with various types of needs in China available for adoption. As I was watching these two boys interact with the orphanage official who was off camera asking them questions and telling them to count or recite a poem, I found myself instantly drawn to the timid boy in the yellow shirt. He was nervous, but there was one point at which the orphanage official tried to make him laugh and he broke into a little smile that melted my heart. The connection I felt to him was strong. I was drawn to him. I must have watched the video 20 times. I wondered to myself, "What am I doing? Why am I thinking about this boy? We are waiting to bring Sam home." After a few weeks, I learned his special need was a serious one that made it even more important that he be adopted soon. I had learned about this genetic blood disorder months before and felt a strange connection to it. I felt like we could adopt a child with this need one day and that we should. But, again, we were in the middle of Sam's adoption, so while I felt that he was a special boy and felt drawn to him, I tried to put it out of my mind and never mentioned it to anyone. 

Fast-forward, we are home with Sam and things are going beautifully. Really, surprising well. It felt almost seamless (as soon as the jet lag subsided.) Sam belonged in our family and God led us to him.
I am a member of a closed group on Facebook helps advocate for children available for adoption in China. These children are listed with many different agencies here in the US and many of them have waited years and years. One day in early December, the lady who posted the video in July posts a picture of him. My heart skipped a beat. I had never forgotten about him and he was always in the back of my mind. He was still waiting. I learned he had been with the same agency since last April. I later learned that his adoption file had been prepared when he was two years old. He had been waiting for over two years. He had waiting too long.

I felt too strongly about him to not tell Fred. Of course, Fred was surprised, shocked really, that I was bringing this up. I was, too actually. Was I actually thinking about trying to adopt this boy?!?! We had JUST gotten home less than two months before! It seemed too crazy, but then again it didn't. Maybe part of the reason that God blessed us and Sam with such an easy transition and bonding is so we would be able to take another leap of faith? 

Adoption is not a checkbox on our application to be "good Christians" and live as God wants us to live. It's not something that you say, "Okay, did that. Done now." It changes your life. It's not always easy, in fact MOST times it's not easy. But for some reason, many families who adopt once, adopt again. It's a life-changing experience to be able to make a child your own...a child who had no parents, no siblings. And to be able to give that child a family, give them your unconditional love and then to receive their love whenever they are able to give it... that's what brings adoptive parents back for more. Not every family feels the desire to adopt again. And of course, there are many families that would adopt again but aren't able to for various reasons. But overall, families will tell you they'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Yes, it seems so soon and there are many unknowns...we don't know how it will be, we don't know if he will have difficulty bonding, we don't know how adopting him will effect our lives, heck, we don't even know where he'll sleep right now... but we feel God is calling us to this boy. Do we have more love to give? yes. Do we feel we could parent another child? yes. Do we want to be this boy's family? yes. Could this boy be another blessing to us? yes.

It wasn't without A LOT of discussion and thought that we came to the decision we eventually reached. Adopting this boy sounded pretty illogical, really. But every time I thought about saying 'no', it didn't feel right. Who am I, who are we, to say 'no' to God?

I read this on another blog by an adoptive father..."When it came down to it, we couldn't come up with a reason to say 'no' that we could live with for the rest of our lives."  

And to be honest, I didn't want to say 'no.'  I know it's a more responsibility, more parenting tasks, more food, more money, more laundry, more noise... but it's also more love. And I don't look at it as something I "should" do or feel obligated to do, to me this is something I WANT to do. I'm going to try my best to remember that during the hard times:)

Do we feel some fear about saying 'yes' to adopting this boy? I think it would be unhealthy if we didn't. There are so many unknowns. But as I pray, I feel my fear going away. I am still nervous, anxious. But strangely I'm not afraid. I know that no matter what, we'll be okay. I find peace in this. I know this must come from God because I certainly don't have the strength or courage to do this on my own.

So this story is actually just getting started... I'd like to tell you that Fred and I submitted our Letter of Intent to adopt this boy yesterday, February 4th, 2014. And it didn't hit me until last night that February 4th, 2013 was the day we got the call from our agency about Sam! Exactly one year to the day:)

We asked the kids their thoughts before we made our final decision. They were all ecstatic! Well, except Sam, because he has no clue;)  

So if you have heard from one of our kids that we have been thinking about adopting another boy from China, you can believe it. Yes, we are THAT crazy!

Thankfully, we will be able to use much of the paperwork that we accumulated last time! Yay!!! I can't say now when we will travel, but I'm hoping the process goes quicker this time. We will also be trying to medically expedite the process because of his medical need.

It feels like deja vu to be beginning this process again so soon. But at least now I know what to expect. I'm not looking forward to all the waiting and paperwork and really, the idea of getting on a plane to China (and back from China) again is not appealing to me. But, this is what has to be done. And he is waiting for us. And he doesn't even know we're coming... he doesn't know that his family has found him and that we can't wait to bring him home.

(guess I need to change the name of the blog now...) Oh, and we're still working on his name:)

Only 3 months? Really?

I can't believe that it's only been three months since we landed on U.S. soil with Sam. It sounds cliche to say, but it really feels like he's been with us forever. He has meshed with our family so perfectly and bonded with us so well that I really can't say this has been "hard." We know we are blessed.  

3 months ago:

Shannon, Ella, and Daniel have been amazing with him. What a lucky boy he is to have such wonderful big siblings. And he knows he has them wrapped around his finger:) He is treated like little prince around here a lot! We're trying not to let it go to his head. They are constantly asking (begging?) for hugs. He can be a little stingy with his hugs to them, which I think is mostly a power thing. He likes to make his own decisions about things. But at bedtime (around 6:45) he LOVES to give them all kisses and hugs before his bedtime stories. It's pretty sweet. 

I would describe his personality as laid-back yet also assertive and determined. He's not overly dramatic, doesn't really have a temper or have meltdowns. He gets cranky or does things he knows he shouldn't do when he's tired. He also wakes up grump, especially after nap. But usually perks right up after a short period of time. 

He likes to be silly and make his siblings laugh by making funny faces or noises. He also appreciates slapstick, so Daniel loves to entertain him using physical humor:)

Sam repeats pretty much everything we say. He talks A LOT. Especially repeating our names MANY times throughout the day. I'm not worried about his language skills! He is putting two words together, such as "Chloe outside" and "change diaper" and "Daniel, stop."   He makes known what he wants and we rarely have trouble understanding what he is trying to convey.

He also says "I love you" which sounds like "I ba loo." :) He also has wonderful manners and says "thank you" whenever anyone does something for him.

First day of preschool Nov. 18th

For the first month or so he cried when I dropped him at his room. But now he walks right in and gives me a kiss goodbye! He just recently got comfortable going to the nursery at church now.

Christmas 

Ski trip to NC during winter break

Playing at Wills Park with cousins Jan. 2014

He loves all of his cousins as well. He gets right in the middle of the action and enjoys a good party! He's not shy and is quite independent. We noticed that even in China when he would wander away from us in the hotel lobby. He seems to have a lot of self-confidence and feels secure. He knows how to give and receive love and affection. It is obvious to me that he was loved by his caregivers in China. And that has made all the difference. 

Sam's favorite things to do:

• play with trains (especially his battery powered Thomas)
• play with cars on the ramp
• play with play-doh
• go places in the car
• play outside 
• play with siblings/ cousins
• go down slides
• say "no"
• eat carbs and sweets and drink milk
• summon us to come by saying "qualay" (at least that's what it sounds like; I don't know the actual Chinese word)

Things that aren't his favorite:

• watching TV
• saying "yes"
• eating vegetables 
• swinging on swings
• sitting still
• sleeping in
• when his siblings tell him he can't do something (oh wait, that doesn't happen)

And as far as his medical needs go, it's pretty much a non-issue at this point. His heart surgery was done well in China and the pediatric cardiologist cleared him to do anything a typical toddler would do. We go back in year for an annual check up.

So that's about it for our 3-month check in... soccer will be starting back up soon and the girls will be on the same team again. They are looking forward to that. We are looking to get Daniel into swimming since he loves the water and has a lot of energy that needs to be released. With the frigid winter we've had here, I'm soooo ready for Spring already. I'm very much looking forward to our summer family vacation where we will go to a beach house with my brother's family and my parents. It will be so fun to watch all the cousins play together at the beach! (Yes, I know we have many months to wait, I just need to think warm thoughts now:))

In case you missed it, here is the link to the adoption video

https://vimeo.com/83900205

We couldn't imagine our life without him. So glad God called us to adopt. And so glad we able to say "yes!" 

Is our life busy? yes, but not too busy

Is everything in order and neat? No way! 

Is our house messy? yes, but whenever we clean it, just gets messy again, so...

Do I feel overwhelmed? No, strangely I don't. Sure, I have my moments when it's been a long day and Fred is out of town, but if I stop and put things in perspective, it's easy to count my blessings and take it all in stride. The older kids are good helpers and have been great about pitching in around the house.  I've learned to embrace the mess, not worry about having everything "just right." Once I let go of that, I found I enjoyed my life more. 

As long as the kids are happy and don't feel stressed and our life doesn't feel like chaos, then I think we're doing pretty good. Everyone helps out, we emphasize treating each other kindly, we make sure the kids do their school work and practice instruments and have time to play and relax as well. I guess we have a "big" family now? I don't know what the magic number is. But with the amount of food that goes down in this house, I'd say we're a big family.

It's fun, it's messy, it's a bit crazy. We don't do everything perfectly, we we do our best and learn from our mistakes. We are thankful for all we have. 

Until next time...

50 Days

He's been ours for 50 days. Well, really he's been in our arms for 50 days.  I think he's been ours for much longer. The woman who runs his foster home told me on gotcha day that he is our son and he feels that. We felt it too, right away, and now it seems like he's been in our family forever. I've heard other adoptive parents say this. It is a very comforting feeling. I know we are only at the beginning of our journey. No where near the end. We will be on this journey for the rest of our lives and so will Sam. The journey to adoption doesn't end with the signing of official paperwork, that's just the beginning. I'm enjoying every milestone, every step, every hug, every laugh, and I'm happy I can calm the fears and soothe the tears. He is a precious gift, like our three we got "the old-fashioned way." And I know God has big plans for him, I'm looking forward to watching him blossom and reach his full potential. 

I don't know how many of you reading this saw the post on Facebook from Little Flower Projects, where he was as an infant. I have kept in touch with them and they recently shared a birthday picture I sent them from his second birthday which was on November 17th. They know their supporters love to see updates from the children they cared for. I knew he was weak and malnourished when he came into their care in March 2012, but I never knew he weighed less than 6 lbs. at 4 months old. They posted the link to the intake picture of him at that time. Of course people were amazed to see the effect that medical treatment and love have had. But that isn't the miracle. God had a plan all along and it's a miracle that he made it to Little Flower and his life began to change. The miracle happened in the orphanage... God had a plan. A BIG plan.

It amazes me that when I chose that verse to be a permanent fixture on my blog and as the verse I wanted on the cross-stitching my mom made for him, I had no idea the significance it would have now.

 I started thinking about what Lily told me... that he wasn't on the list of babies the orphanage wanted to send to them. But why not? They send babies with club feet, cleft lip/palate, premature, heart defects, etc. They were sending a lot of special needs babies out into foster care at the time. Why wasn't he on the list? They knew other babies needed help and they were asking for help. Surely anyone could have taken one look at him (like Lily did, thank the Lord) and could tell that he was in dire need of medical attention. Why then? After some thought, I came to this conclusion.... they had given up on him. He was too sick, too skinny, his heart was too defected. They were trying to help the babies they thought they could save. But God gave him the strength to survive, even when those around him had given up hope.  And as this reality hit me and I started taking into account ALL that his little body has been through in his short life and ALL the different caregivers and homes he has had, the magnitude of this miracle finally hit me, hard. And it was so obvious that God has carried him every step of the way, especially in those first months in the orphanage. I have this overwhelming feeling of honor, that God chose us to be his parents. US!!  As I held him in my arms at bedtime after my epiphany, I just felt so lucky, so honored to be his mom and so hopeful for his future. I know he is happy and he knows we are his family, forever. God's plans are beyond our understanding at times, but now everything feels right. 

I was so happy my grandma was able to come down for Thanksgiving at my parents' house. She is 93 and doing great, but her memory is going and she has a hard time retaining information. Needless to say, this adoption was a big thing for her to wrap her head around, but she did! She was looking forward to meeting Sam, and she fed him some Thanksgiving food and kept commenting on how pretty his hair was and how cute he was:) My mom told her about our adoption over time and she was able to truly understand the significance of what we were doing. That was such a blessing to me because she has always been such a role-model for me spiritually. We have always been very close and all my life she showed my, by example, how to be a loving, forgiving, and joyful person and her close relationship with God was her rock. Her faith is very strong. She loves God and has done a beautiful job of sharing the love of God with the people around her in her family and community. Her relationship with God was something I always aspired for and is definitely a part of my faith journey. I love my grandma!

One last one of our silly, happy, sweet boy...