Be brave, my heart. Have courage, my soul

"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for." 

William G.T. Shedd

"Normality is a paved road: It is comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it." 

Vincent van Gogh

As we began the adoption process for our third time, we have been overjoyed and humbled at the outpouring of love and support we have received. Even if people don't quite understand "WHY??", they still encourage us and ask about the process and WHEN we are going to get our new son.

The answer to that is: after we make it through this process... again. 

What?... can't follow that??  Yeah, it's a true paperchase. And, yes, even though we have done this exact same thing twice before, we still have to go through the exact same process again. 

Basically it's this: 

• Collect all official documents needed for your dossier and home study: birth certificates, marriage license, health forms, physical exam forms (always fun to get the doctor to fill it out correctly and legibly so nothing gets rejected), proof the septic tank works, proof the dog had her rabies shot, letters from employers, financial statements, etc  Some documents are just for the home study and are specific by state. Some documents are SUPER important and have to go to China in our dossier.
  
• Social worker visits and writes up home study (wait for that to happen)
  
• Agency reviews home study and finalizes it (wait for that to happen)
  
• Home study and fees get sent to USCIS for initial approval from US govt to adopt a child from China (have to get fingerprints done again at Dept of Homeland Security... that one kills me, my fingerprints haven't changed, but okay.)  (wait for fingerprint appt letter to come)
  
• While waiting on the govt to stamp that approval, I get all the other dossier documents notarized, county certified, state sealed and then sent to a courier in Houston who has to walk them into the Chinese Consulate (because you can't mail anything) to get them authenticated by the consulate. Then they all come back to me and I give them to our agency.
  
• When I finally get the USCIS approval, I will do the same steps for that piece of paper and then give to agency for dossier (final piece!)
  
• Agency will review all dossier documents again and then translate them and send them to China. (wait for that to happen)
  
• THEN we will be DTC (Dossier to China)
  
• THEN we wait on our LID (Log in Date)
  
• THEN we wait on our LOA (Letter of Acceptance.... this is hard wait. For Sam it took ALL summer 78 days, for Joshua, who had a medical expedite, it took 7 days... we are hoping for an expedite for Andrew since he has hemophilia (most likely severe), but we won't know if it will happen until it does) Getting LOA is a VERY exciting step... then things start to fly.
  
• THEN the steps get a little fuzzy to me, lol... {see chart}   We have to get another approval from USCIS to adopt Andrew SPECIFICALLY, then the US Consulate in China does some stuff and something called an article 5 is picked up and dropped off and then the CCCWA (China's govt branch in charge of all adoptions) issues TA (TRAVEL APPROVAL!!!)
  
• THEN the agency requests a consulate date which will determine the day we will get Andrew.
  
• THEN we get to book airline tickets and hotels... which sounds fun, but is not really that fun when you are about 2 weeks out from international travel, lol.  Luckily I'm married to a travel GENIUS who has been working like a madman to collect points for airline tickets and hotel stays. We know which hotels we will stay in during our two week trip to China. Freddie is awesome:)
  
• And THEN.... it's GO-TIME! Fred, and I and Daniel will be going on the trip to bring Andrew Jun home.

It may seem somewhat daunting, but really it's not. It's just a series of steps and approvals and gathering paperwork and making sure you don't fill out a form wrong. It's pretty cut and dry and predictable (for the most part, although you never know what hiccups may occur in the process, but they are usually resolved.)

And while the waiting is hard and the process is cold and deliberate, the end result is beautiful. Adoption is beautiful. In so many ways. It's closest thing we have on earth to God's adoption of us as His children. He is a good, good father. Always. We do not view adoption as "playing God" or "trying to be a savior"... we know it is a blessing, an honor, a calling that we, as Christians, should consider. To me, it's pretty clear that Jesus came to teach us to LOVE one another... to do for one another as God has loved us. That can take the form a lot of different things in this world. One of those is adoption, and while it may not be for every family, I encourage you to consider it, and look at the reasons you come up with for why not and pray about them. And if adoption is not something you feel is meant for your family, I'm sure there is another story God will write for you that will be more than you can imagine. 

I like the Pope Francis quote: "Ask Jesus what He wants from you and Be Brave."

I don't know exactly how this will all work out. Adopting a 10 year old boy who speaks no english and has never known what 'family' means is, by definition, unpredictable, lol. I'm going into it with NO expectations. 

No expectations of how Andrew will react to us and his siblings

No expectations of how the adoption trip will go

No expectations of if he will let us hug him or show him affection or if he will even like us, lol

No expectations of if he will want us to call him by his Chinese name or his American name

No expectations of how quickly (or not) he will learn english

No expectations of how the other kids will react to him or how the adoption will change the family dynamics

No expectations about how he will handle the fact that his world will be turned upside down and inside out as he takes in a new culture, a new language, a new living environment with new, strange-looking people... and an overly-friendly labrador:)

I will take it all in as it happens and try to trust my gut and parenting instincts and lean on God for strength and guidance. 

This is our life. This our family. Andrew is a part of it, he just doesn't know it yet. And it's our job, as parents, to help him transition into it and show him an unconditional love that he may never have known before. The rest are details that we will work out.

The kids are excited and we pray together for Andrew to be safe in China and happy until we can bring him home. And I pray that he knows love and feels loved... but honestly, I can't know if that is the case or not. As I've said before about Joshua's life in China, there is a difference between being cared for and being loved.  

Needless to say, we hope the process goes as quickly as possible. Our home study has been written and is being reviewed. We hope send out our application for our first USCIS approval. We won't send our dossier to China until the summer (all depends how quickly we get this first approval.)  We still hope to travel in the Fall (early,  middle, or late depending on if US and China expedite). If we don't get approved for expedites at all, it could be the winter when we travel.

I'm in the process of making a book for him with our pictures and pictures of our house, inside our house, his room, our backyard, our school, etc. I don't want to overwhelm him, but I hope that seeing some visuals of how his new home will look will be comforting to him. I also included a map of the world and China with his province highlighted and USA with GA highlighted.

Interestingly, his city and our city are very close in latitude to each other (34 degrees north for Cumming and 32 degrees north for Xinyang), so the climate will probably be something he is used to... just hopefully cleaner air:)

We hope that we will be able to video chat with him after we get LOA. I have a friend who has a friend that speaks Chinese, so she could interpret for us. 

We are also excited to have designed a t-shirt for Andrew's adoption! I worked with an organization called Fund the Nations, whom I met at the adoption retreat I went to, and the girls helped me with some details of it as well. I really liked how it turned out and I hope others do as well! I will make another post soon about the shirts that will help bring Andrew home.

Here's a hint as to the shirt saying: 

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.  Do everything in love."  1 Corinthians 16:13-14

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

One thing I remember that stood out to me when I first read what was written about Andrew by his orphanage is that despite the pain his hemophilia has caused in his life, he is still "open" and "loves life."  That sounds like a brave boy to me. I wish he didn't have to wait so long. I wish he hadn't endured pain that could have been prevented. But all we can do now is work as quickly as possible to get him home and be "open" to all he is and all he can be... and to help him see that he is so worthy and so loved by us and by God, our good, good Father.

An Unexpected Story

My dad loves telling stories... and retelling stories that he's told a time or two before. It runs in the family. Pop, my dad's dad, was known to be quite the storyteller, and I can recall hearing him tell the same stories to my brother, my cousins, and I throughout my childhood. I'm not complaining. I love a good story. And when you have a good story to tell, why not tell it often and with great enthusiasm? And usually the best stories are the ones that take an unexpected turn.

About two years ago I told you the story of a little boy in China who wore a yellow shirt. (http://dri-style.blogspot.com/2014/02/i-have-this-story-to-tell-you.html) I told you how that little boy was filmed by an American couple and that video made it's way to the internet where I saw it, and he made his way into my heart.



And as I type this, that little boy in the yellow shirt is lying peacefully in the top bunk of his the bed that he shares with his little brother, who also happens to have quite a story of how he wound up here in our lives and in our hearts.

If you had asked me 5 years ago about my plans and goals... my dreams... what my story would be, I may not have have known how to answer you. I was trying to figure out what all those people mean when they talk about "finding God's will for your life." I absolutely wanted to do that.. yes, let's find that out... God's will, His desire for me, for our family. 

I wanted to know, I felt a deep yearning to know. Seemed simple enough... God's will... I've heard that talked about since I was a girl. And I was ready to sign up. Just one small issue... I knew it was something great, but I couldn't figure out what it was.  

I read my Bible, and inspirational books, and self-help books trying to nail down exactly what it was that God was trying to whisper into my heart, and I discovered that the answer can't be found in a book. It's too personal, too individual and there is no straight and narrow path to figuring it out. So I prayed and waited and kept my eyes and heart open. And I found that when I listened with a quiet and peaceful soul and let contentment and surrender be the center of my life, the answers came with ease. When I stopped following what I thought life was about and started following Jesus, I knew. I just knew. 

What God has done in our lives has been amazing and beautiful. Sam and Joshua's adoptions have forever changed all of us, in the best ways. I truly feel like I'm a better mom now than I was before, even though we are busier, the house is louder, and we have 2 more kids to wrangle. I'm not stressed. I'm not worn down. 
Do I get tired by 8:00? um, yes, sometimes by 7:30. But that's why God made wine. Let's not waste that. 
And coffee, can't forget coffee... another valuable gift from God's earth.

I feel so blessed, thankful, and proud everyday to get to be the momma to my five little people.  I can tell you it's so true-- love is not like a pie with a slice for each child; it doesn't get divided,... It multiplies. 

Going through the adoption processes and connecting with other families and reading about the life-changing and inspiring stories of miracles and deep faithfulness; I know it's made be a better mom and a better person. Of course I still have doubts, frustrations, and times when I totally blow it as a mom, but the joy I get from my life and the people I get to do life with far outweighs those difficulties.  

I now see the world in a different way, and all of my "problems" or "issues" are minor in comparison to what many families and children face with on a daily basis. Perspective if a gift we can have here in this country. I'm not saying that we should ignore the issues that come up with our children or family and friends, but I've just found that if we try to see things through God's eyes, it makes it easier to find a solution to the problem or to at least find peace in what is happening around you. I find it very hard to complain about anything.

So, yes, adoption has been a wonderful gift in our lives, on many levels.  It's been a gift not only to Fred and I but to our entire family. After Joshua's adoption we were feeling nice and full here at the Dri House. What blessings these boys are, and watching them learn what family means and seeing their amazing older siblings bring them in the fold, just like one of the gang. It has been a joy to behold. 

Once you are in the adoption world, especially on Facebook, it's hard to get out:) You know, like in The Godfather. I'll spare you the quote. But really, once you've entered, your eyes are open and your heart is changed. I know firsthand what advocacy can do, as we would have never seen Joshua if Terri had not advocated for him (https://rockingtheredthread.wordpress.com/2013/07/). There are too many other stories similar to his to discount the power of advocacy; one at a time matters. I found myself advocating for some of the kids who had been waiting for a while. Sometimes I would advocate in the private groups and sometimes on my own page (those of you who are friends with me on Facebook *may* have noticed;)

It was very obvious that many of the children who wait for families the longest are boys, especially older boys and older children in general. In China, once a child turns 14, they are no longer eligible to be adopted. They will spend the rest of their childhood in the care of the orphanage and then their future is uncertain. Some will stay in a social welfare institution for the remainder of their lives. Some will be able to go to lower level schools and acquire jobs but will face much difficulty as family is everything in China, and an orphan status is deemed unlucky, undesirable, and even "cursed." In addition their houku, or family registration, would identify them as an orphan forever since they have no family lineage. They often wind up living life in the margins of society with no family to connect with. I would also imagine that a young man with orphan status would have a very hard time finding a wife as the number of men in China is disproportionately high compared to the number of women. A woman's family is not likely to accept their daughter marrying a man with that "unlucky" hukou and limited potential because of it. This article explains what happens when a child ages out: http://www.lwbcommunity.org/adoption-of-older-children

 I remember when we first started the adoption process with Sam and we were on a serious learning curve, I saw someone in one of the private groups who was wanting to adopt a 10 year old boy. "Why?" I wondered. "Why would you WANT an older child if there were younger kids who were waiting for families, too. I don't think I could ever adopt an older child. That seems too hard. Too many 'issues' could come up. Nope, not for me, but God bless those people. Good for them. Yes, those older kids need families, too."

It seemed like a fine and wonderful idea for OTHER people. I was glad THEY could do that, but no way... not for us. That's waaaay out of my comfort zone.

"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." Mother Teresa

And then, as sometimes happens, God starts messing around in my heart and that has the effect of changing my mind. I think God knows EXACTLY what He is doing;) It just sometimes takes me a while to get there myself.

I never asked Him to do this... Believe, me. I would have picked something different. Like... God, maybe it's Your will that we travel to another country to do some mission work. Or maybe it's Your will that we find something local to support. Or maybe You would have us just be still for a while.

But adopting an older boy, God?? Like a 10 year old? Are you SURE? This is ME, remember? I loved our easy adoptions with the smooth transitions and minimal obstacles to overcome.

 I didn't see this coming. We were all good, ya see. Perfectly happy and content (and still are.) It was unexpected. But as I've mentioned before, God's plans are THE BEST.

Slowly over the course of a year, this desire in my heart grew and grew. And it was clear to me that this was something we needed to take into serious consideration because it just felt too right.

Don't get me wrong, I always had reservations. Adopting a toddler and 5 year old is one thing, but a 9 or 10 year old is something entirely different. There were so many things to think about with the family dynamics and all the possible "issues" that can come up when a child has grown up without a family. All of the reasons we shouldn't even consider it bounced around in my head, but in my heart I felt that it could work... and not only would it work, but it could be a beautiful blessing in many ways.

Months go by, I can't shake the thought that God is leading us somewhere we never thought we'd go... adopting an older boy. Hundreds of older boys are advocated for constantly on agency lists, advocacy pages, personal pages, etc. Once you are in the adoption community and see the need, you can't unsee it. 

I remember seeing his face on our agency's waiting child list over a year ago. Something about his smile got me. It was like joy was radiating from him. What was written about him by his orphanage made him sound like an awesome kid... "a warm-hearted older brother" "positive, sensible, compassionate, charming" "even though his sickness brings about pain and tears, he still loves life"... that last one broke my heart. But even if we were open to adopting an older child, or even adopting again for that matter (which we WEREN'T), he had a need that scared me. A need that didn't think I could "handle." He was diagnosed with hemophilia. That's for someone else to do, I thought.

Time goes by and that great boy is still waiting. He's with another agency. I started researching his need (just out of curiosity), reading some blogs written by mommas who had adopted a child with hemophilia or who had a biological child with it. I learned that, like thalassemia, children with hemophilia in China will likely only live into their 20s due to lack of proper care available to them. And, like thalassemia, hemophilia is a very 'manageable' need here in the US and people live long and full lives. And slowly I realized the need wasn't important anymore. Not to say that his need wasn't pretty serious, it was, but I found myself looking beyond that which did not define him as a person and seeing the joyful boy who simply needed a family to say "yes." Whatever his "need" may be, he is a 10 year old boy who NEEDS and DESERVES a family, like every child... bottom-line. God wanted me to trust Him so completely that I put myself in a situation that was uncomfortable to me, a situation where I would REALLY need to lean on God.  


If my life was only lived within the limits of my abilities, my goals, my imagination, my version of 'life', then I know I would miss out and miss the point. 
What I've discovered is that God's plans are so much more than we can imagine. And not understanding how it's all going to turn out... that's part of it. Because it's not about the destination, it's about the journey.


Then something happened that I knew was from God because there is no way I could have done this myself: Fred felt it, too. Say, what??  He had not been interested in talking about it at all, not even for sake of discussion. I know this is because his heart is so big that he can't let himself think about all those kids who wait. He can't look at their faces, he can't consider them.  He knew I felt drawn to the older boys, especially this one particular boy, but he was not ready yet. So when he told me he was ready, I was shocked... and I knew this was only God's doing. 

And then the weirdest thing happened. I got cold feet, lol. Me, the one who brought it up in the first place.  Because once Fred was in, he was IN.  All of the worst case scenarios started running through my mind. All of the reasons we shouldn't do this crept in. I was scared, frightened of the unknowns. I wasn't sure I had the parenting skills to pull this off. I wasn't sure it would be good for our family. What if it would would be too much, too hard? Yet at the same time, I felt that it was right and we should do it. It could be awesome. The ups and downs of of my emotions were very strange to me. One minute I felt good about it, the next I felt nervous and uneasy. It felt kinda like... fear. And it was unexpected.




We knew his file was about to be released from an agency who had a while and we asked our agency to pull it for us. They agreed. After about a week we got the file. I still wasn't 100% sure we should move forward. These feelings felt like they were conflicting with other feelings in my heart and mind and I just needed time to pray about it. We sent the file to a specialist for review. We asked for an update. We talked to the kids about it and they were surprised and excited:) (some were more surprised than others as Shannon thought I was getting everyone's attention at the dinner table to talk about the excessive amount of smacking that had taken place during the meal [I love her]... the story took a turn she wasn't expecting, but it turned out to be a much better story than table manners.)


As "luck" would have it, right around this time, while we were waiting on an update from his orphanage, I was able to attend a retreat for adoptive and foster mommas to engage together, worship together, and learn together. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. And the topic of the group discussion? How evil can work against you to steal your light... how doubt can destroy your joy and your kill your peace. We talked about how fear can breed negative thoughts and anxiety and can keep you from rejoicing in what God has given you. Yep, that was the topic. Again, only God.

God did not make us to be fearful. He made us to find power and boldness through Him. He created us to use our minds for His purpose, not to live with anxiety and fear of the future and doubt in ourselves. If I only do things within MY comfort zone, am I trusting God? Or am I living in fear?

And through my prayers, God answered, and started giving me peace about the decision. Unexplainable peace.

And this decision wasn't made out of guilt... or sense of duty... or feeling of obligation. Nope.

I'm not trying to "save all the orphans." I can't do that. I'm not a savior. But I've been saved. 

There is nothing special about us. 

We are not absent of faults. God is.


We do not have unending grace and strength. God does. 

We cannot be sure of the future and all that lies ahead. God can.

If we can be the family for one more child who needs one, why would we say 'no' to that? Trust me when I tell you that we will receive much more than we give. Like I've said before WE are the lucky ones.

So... we are totally and completely depending on Him and surrendering [trying to.] We are exhaling and letting go and enjoying the ride... Well, as best we can... like I said, we are far from perfect:) 

This boy would not be another burden but another blessing. We don't have to do this, we want to do this.
God put this incredible desire in my heart for this boy not to pity him because he was sick; 
not to feel sorry for him because he didn't have a family; 
but to LOVE him because that's what life is all about. 

God's love is SO BIG He has to spread it out all over the world, and He invites us to join Him. Sign.me.up. 

"Love doesn't just keep thinking about it or keep planning for it. Simply put: Love Does." Bob Goff




And although I really have no idea how this story will end and what twists and turns we will take or what cliffhangers and climaxes we will encounter, I know this: There is nothing too big for our God. And I believe there is a reason I felt this desire in my heart. Am I still scared and nervous? yep. Am I going to let that stop me? nope. I know we have to be prepared for worst case scenarios, but above and beyond that, I have great HOPE. I know he is to be our son. And I am REJOICING because of it!



It is with much excitement and pure joy that I share with you the newest member of the Dri family! 

This is Min Jun (JunJun, pronounced like June-June)... soon to be Andrew Jun Dri. He is 10 years old and lives in an orphanage in Henan, China (which happens to be Sam's province.) He has lived there since he was about a year old, but his file was not prepared for adoption until 2014, just after he turned nine.

He is described as warm-hearted, bright, open, positive, cheerful and sensible. 



And he is ours... and we are his. We know he will be another blessing and our love will continue to multiply. We can't wait to have him home and watch his story become part of our story and ours' part of his. We are honored and humbled God led us to him. 



We have just started our paperwork and do not know when we will travel yet but we may be able to get the approvals expedited because of his medical need and the lack of proper care he receives. 

Hemophilia can be very painful and life-threatening without proper treatment. We welcome your prayers as we muddle through the paperwork and approvals and Andrew waits for us. We pray that he feels loved, because he is SO LOVED.

















What can I say?.... this story is turning out waaaay better than I had imagined. 

A soul on fire...

I grew up on Spielberg movies. In my 11 year old mind, his movies seemed magical to me somehow... the dreamers won... the visionaries, the rebels, the good guys always came out on top at the end. 

But that is not rare concept in movies, is it? Who would want to watch a movie where the bad guys win or the good guys go down? So maybe it wasn't the plot of the movies that made them special, but the characters. It was the characters we fell in love with. We wanted to hang out with them, to be part of the gang or at least help them along the way. The Goonies, Elliott and hoodie boys on their bikes (and of course little, adorable Drew Barrymore), Indiana Jones, and even the guys stuck in Jurassic Park or on the boat in Jaws were endearing. There were characters we were meant to dislike, and we did, and there were characters we were meant to root for, and we did. 
It wasn't just the storyline or the special effects that made those movies magical to me, it was the characters he created and the emotions they were meant to evoke.

I can say that I've always been an optimistic person. Rose-colored glasses, big-picture kinda girl. Everything will work out in the end, the good guys always come through while having a magnificent adventure along the way, right?

But that doesn't mean hard things won't happen to us all. For everyone, there is season(s) of our lives where we faced pain or hardship or tragedy. Unfortunately, those seasons can last longer for some people than others. But we come on on the other side, or at least that's the idea. But how long and meandering a path we take to get “there?”

We have one life. It's a gift. That's what they say, the “gift of life”... given to us by our Creator, with some help from our biological parents. If you stop and think about how two tiny microscopic organisms can join and form a human being, each distinct with our own DNA, our own appearance, our own emotions, thoughts, personality, flaws, and character traits. It's a miracle. Every time. And not it's not a given. There is no guarantee that every life will survive past the pregnancy, or their childhood, or their young adulthood. There are tragedies all around us every second of every day in the world there are tragedies in human life. Horrible words like cancer, disease, accident, sickness, loss, abandonment, abuse, and death are a constant in our broken world. Depressed yet?

Sometimes these tragedies happen only on the news, or in our local community, or to a friend of a friend, or to a close friend.... and sometimes these tragedies happen to us. And then it is no longer just a tragedy, it's devastation... it's life-altering and you are no longer the same as you once were before the tragedy intertwined with your life. I have been fortunate to not have had that kind of tragedy in my life. But that doesn't mean that I'm not grateful for every day and every blessing I have. 

And I've read amazing stories of how strong people have come through immensely difficult seasons or events with even more grace and strength than they possessed beforehand. I've witnessed stories of people so broken, and yet they are healed. And I've seen parents love children who have been through more hurt and pain than they should have ever had to experience in their young lives. Yet, they, too, are healed. How? 

And this verse:

I think that is a tough verse to believe. Although, we want to believe it, so badly,it's one thing to say it and another to act on it. But I'm telling you, I've witnessed people, families, going through more difficult things than I can imagine, things that would scare anyone, and all they can do is put their faith in God. And in doing that, they experience a peace that is beyond what we can understand. But it's hard to take a leap and not know where you'll land. 

But it seems that if God can take such brokenness and make it beautiful, then it's His way of saying, "Look, see what I can do? It's more than you can imagine."  It's hard not to put God in a box, and say, "Well, God is in THIS part of my life, but not THAT part."

And while it's easy to say we have a strong faith in the good times, I've seen how deep faith truly is in the midst of dark days from people who are not just strong within themselves, but have found their strength in Christ. It AMAZES me. I can only conclude that we cannot fathom all that God can do...  until He does it.

Lately I've been flabbergasted by the inconsistencies in the world... by the discrepancies. One minute there's a story about a family relying on their faith to come through a difficult event or tragedy with hope and love and grace... and the next story is about what new clothes a celebrity bought for their toddler or what idiotic thing a politician said to gain attention... or how inflated a football is.

Every day in cities throughout the world, there are people trying to figure out where their next meal will come from and people with a child facing a life-threatening diagnosis… and then, in the same community, there are people trying to figure out what drink they want to order at Starbucks or how they're going to get to all of the kids' activities this weekend, or where they are going on vacation this year.

Throughout the world, there are parents who give up their child because of a birth defect or disease, and then there are people who are overjoyed about the chance to bring that child into their family. 

It doesn't seem fair. Discrepancies.

And while there is nothing bad or wrong about wanting the nice car or house, or fun vacation, (we are meant to experience pleasure!), we all know that's not really IT... that's really not what life is about, in the end. Talk to anyone who has faced a seriousness illness, or had a near death experience, or has simply come to the end of their long life... they will tell you, it's not about the sights you saw, or the places you went, or the things you had, it's about the PEOPLE who were there with you. The PEOPLE you loved, the PEOPLE who's lives you touched and who touched your life; they are what make life worth living. And it's not just the amount of time you spend with them, but it's the depth of presence in being with them during those times.

So if life presents you with the opportunity (and by “opportunity” I mean what most of us in the first world have on a daily basis) to make a difference in another person's life, then by all means grab it.

If we think we are too busy or not emotionally equipped to help someone, to make a difference, to take a risk, to change a life, then maybe we are wrapped up in the wrong things. Maybe our short term happiness is jeopardizing our overall joy. 
And when we look back on these years and seasons of our lives, we will have regret or wonder “What if I had?”

There are families I know in the adoption world who are raising and loving very sick children. Or children with needs far beyond what they ever envisioned being able to care for. But they do it, they fight for them, they get them the medical care they need. They love them exactly how they are, not how they thought they would be. And they will say, even though it's much harder than they thought it would be or life has taken their family in a different direction than it was "supposed to go," they wouldn't change a thing and what they have learned and gained from the difficulties is immeasurable and beyond our understanding.

Yep, sometimes ideas that God puts in our hearts may seem strange to others, or even ourselves! Sometimes we look at choices people make in their faith journey and pursuit of God's will and we think, "Well, good for them, that's great they chose to live their life that way. But it's not for me." Or better yet, we say, "Um, they're crazy."

 But sometimes it's the craziest things that will bring you the most peace. Kinda funny isn't it?


If you are friends with me on Facebook, you know I occasionally, okay, maybe more than "occasionally," post about children in China needing families. For those you not in the China adoption circles, let me tell you... the kids I post about?... just a FRACTION of the kids I see being advocated for on a daily basis. And the kids that have adoption files and are being advocated for?... just a FRACTION of the kids who actually need families. Is it overwhelming? Yes. Is that a reason not to try? No.

There's a boy in China who wants to be an engineer when he grows up. People in the China adoption community know him as "Oscar." He is good at math and he likes to put things together. He is bright. He is a fighter. He's got a great smile. 
Who knows what he could do in this world? What kind of a difference he could make? He's about to be 10 years old and the possibilities are endless, like his dreams and his enthusiasm.

Theres something else about this boy... he was born with Beta Thalassemia Major. His body, like our Joshua's body, does not produce healthy red blood cells to carry oxygen. His hemoglobin does not hold and drops to dangerously low levels where he would not survive without regular blood transfusions. The life expectancy for children born with this disorder in China is not long. His body is in iron-overload from all of the blood transfusions and his organs are affected. Sooner or later his heart will begin to show the effects of iron-overload and without medication to remove the iron, he will pass away probably as a teenager or young adult.

Please don't take this as over-dramatic or a guilt-redden message. I'm not writing this to make you feel sorry for him. This is just the harsh reality for him and other children like him anywhere in the world where adequate medical care is not being provided.

I realize children die every day in this world, some as orphans, some not. “We cannot save them all." I've heard that one. This is true. And you should not adopt a child just to “save” them. I cannot put into words what it feels like to adopt a child born into this world in a different family who is now part of our family forever. What I can say about our adoption experience is that it is life-altering in the best way. I will never be the same, thank the Lord. And I can tell you this... it is feels natural. We were made to love each other, to seek out each other, to try our earthly best to do what Jesus did for us for each other.

We are made for so much more than living in our bubble. Everyone can do something. It doesn't have to be adoption. It could be advocacy, fostering, sponsoring, mentoring, volunteering and on and on.

This boy's life does not have to end in tragedy. His story could turn out beautifully and in my heart of hearts, I know it will. I know this boy has a story to tell, and I believe the world will get to hear it. And one lucky family will be there to witness it all. Someone reading this right now could be that family, his family.

Here are some videos of him taken last summer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wEbXR4fvW8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw7OttDmMHk

Here is a link to a blog that explains more about adopting a child with Thalassemia: http://choosingthalassemia.blogspot.com/

Here is a link to a wonderful organization that supports people living with Thalassemia.  http://www.thalassemia.org/

Here is a video made by a mom who adopted a boy with Beta Thal Major to show what a transfusion day may look like:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjILWvM4Yvo

God has big plans for Oscar. His story is not going to be cut short.

We can't help all the orphaned or sick children in the world, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. There are many, many "older" children waiting for adoption.


Another boy on my heart is ten year old "Emery" who lives in an orphanage in Shanghai. He has been waiting many years for a family to chose him. He also has Beta Thal Major. For a while he was not allowed to go to school since he needed transfusions. He now attends the orphanage school. He is outgoing, very talkative, and gets along well with his classmates and roommates.

Long ago... Sweet boy!

Very recent video of Emery:
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WE3YnuhK_T4&feature=youtu.be

Obviously, these boys with Thalassemia tug close to my heart. I know what will happen if they aren't adopted. I know what excellent care they could receive here in this country. I know they, like all children, deserve families, deserve a chance to shine in this world.

We can choose to let the brokenness of the world define us and defeat us, or we can chose to see something beyond it, something so beautiful we cannot imagine it until we are living it.  I'm very happy... and in my happiness, I'm still longing. I'm longing to have my soul on fire for God's desires.

Life is a gift... How is your movie going to turnout? What are we going to do with our speck of sand in the hour glass? 

Whatever it is, I hope we don't only pursue our own desires but seek to desire what God puts in our hearts.